Our legal department suggests you skip our salad dressing and just eat an avocado


I saw a bottle of salad dressing with very strange fine print. The picture on the bottle is of half an avocado. But the fine print on the bottle reads "Does not contain avocados."

Okay, so the picture on the bottle isn't a picture of the product. This is strange but not entirely unheard of. After all, a box of Girl Scout cookies has pictures of Girl Scouts, not cookies.

The thing that struck me was the second half of the fine print. It reads "Serving suggestion."

Huh?

Apparently, the suggested way of enjoying their salad dressing is to eat half an avocado with no salad dressing on it.

Pre-emptive snarky comment: "PCs should have come with a suggestion to use the computer without Windows Vista on it."

Comments (29)
  1. Anonymous says:

    Also, woodchucks don’t chuck wood.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I thought Girlscout Cookies have photos of Girlscouts on the box because they are made from Girlscouts. Was I misled?

  3. Anonymous says:

    That’s a terrible pre-emptive snarky comment. If you’re going to do something, do it right.  Example:

    The fine print on Vista should read “Does not contain Wow.”

  4. In many countries in Africa the literacy rate is so low (or the number of indigenous languages is so high) that people rely on the pictures to tell them what’s in the box / jar etc.

    Gerber baby food doesn’t sell so well in these countries.

  5. Anonymous says:

    @John: If it did, then it would be wrong.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Windows_on_Windows

  6. Anonymous says:

    "PCs should have come with a suggestion to use the computer without Windows Vista on it."

    They do, it’s just a terse/oblique suggestion.  The sticker just reads, "Windows 7" :)

    (Meant as nitpicking-as-sport, I will have a sad if you’re genuinely offended.)

  7. Anonymous says:

    The salad dressing is on the other half.

  8. Anonymous says:

    In many countries in Africa the literacy rate is so low (or the number of indigenous languages is so high) that people rely on the pictures to tell them what’s in the box / jar etc. <

    Widespread myth:

    http://www.snopes.com/business/market/babyfood.asp

  9. Anonymous says:

    What is the real intent of posting articles like this one, if not encouraging snarky comments!?

    And then you pretend to discourage snarky comments by closing the article with a "pre-emptive" one?

    It’s not fair!

  10. Anonymous says:

    Q: What is loud humming, shaking, and emitting smoke, but doesn’t kick ass?

    A1: Soviet kick-ass machine.

    or:

    A2: Soviet knock-off of a kick-ass machine.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?

    Wednesday: Yes.

    Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they’re real lemons?

    Pugsley: Yes.

    Girl Scout: Well, I’ll tell you what. I’ll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?

    Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

  12. Anonymous says:

    Small correction, but Girl Scout cookie boxes have pictures of both the Girl Scouts *and* the cookies.

  13. Anonymous says:

    @Marc

    It’s very likely that baby food in a low-literacy environment would have a baby on it. Assuming the buyers wouldn’t have the mental capacity to understand that it’s *for* babies is the myth. And pretty offensive.

  14. Anonymous says:

    I once saw a can of peanuts at my grocery store with the following (obvious) disclaimer:

    "May contain traces of peanuts"

    Well, I would hope so.

  15. fahadsadah says:

    Gene, I’ve seen better: a can of peanuts that said "Cannot guarantee nut free"

  16. Anonymous says:

    http://www.girlscouts.org/program/gs_cookies

    I’ve heard that if you eat too many GS cookies you might get a buffer overrun.

  17. Anonymous says:

    @fahadsadah: Peanuts are not nuts

  18. Anonymous says:

    re: "PCs should have come with a suggestion to use the computer without Windows Vista on it."

    They do.  It just comes out as "Free XP downgrade".

  19. rhencke says:

    If you look close enough, you will see that tiny ‘Serving Suggestion’ text on just about every prepared American food product you can think of.  I’m not sure why, but it’s a very common theme.

    Even stuff like cereal, where the picture shows milk being poured, will say ‘Serving Suggestion’, as if to say ‘No, the box does not also contain milk, despite this picture’.

  20. Anonymous says:

    One old-time advertisement hoarding I’ve seen advertises (I presume) dogfood, with the phrase "Spratt’s Patent Dog Cakes". Every time I see it, I mentally append "Made with real dog."

  21. Anonymous says:

    The label is bizarre, but the dressing is very nice.

    This post has reminded me to buy some next time I go to the supermarket.

  22. Anonymous says:

    Many people put hard work into that wiki article, and now raymond deleted it. Thanks a lot!

  23. Anonymous says:

    @Nick: ty – I hadn’t seen that C&H in a long time.  I’m now craving a fix of "Chocolate Covered Sugar Bombs" …

  24. Anonymous says:

    @640k

    Wikipedia explicitly says Raymond *didn’t* delete it.

  25. Anonymous says:

    Entenmann’s believes their mini-muffins are best served stacked on the head of a cartoon dog.

    http://entenmanns.bimbobakeriesusa.com/images/OP/detail/7203001353CF.jpg

  26. Anonymous says:

    Got some Peanut Butter here in the UK which has allergy advice on it.

    "Contains Peanuts"…. well duh…

    Also another bit of useless text on the same label: Vegetarian

    Surely if it contained a chicken or two it would be mentioned under the "Ingredients".  Another section of the overcrowded label.

    These labels are becoming so clogged with useless information it becomes difficult to see what the actual product is.

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