How to pretend that you attended my talk at UIUC Reflections|Projections 2009


Step 1: Buy a 1.55-ounce Hershey's Milk Chocolate Bar from a convenience store, supermarket, or (if truly desperate) online.

Step 2: Print out this candy bar wrapper.

Step 3: Trim wrapper on registration marks and wrap around candy bar.

Step 4: Stay up late the night before you plan on watching the video by partying with Ryan North and teaching him how to play beer pong.

Step 5: Force yourself to wake up the next morning and watch the recorded video of my talk while trying desperately to stay awake. The candy bar might help.

Note: Although most steps are optional, they are essential if you want an accurate simulation.

Comments (12)
  1. Gabe says:

    I like the panda Mandelbrot set!

  2. someone else says:

    That wrapper would even double in awesome if it were in bright, cheery colors!

    And finally, the video is online!

  3. James Schend says:

    Dinosaur Comics Ryan North?

    Bitching. I actually saw the beer pong story in his Twitter feed– I can’t believe Canadians don’t have it.

  4. Absotively says:

    James Schend: As I Canadian, I can’t believe it either.

  5. Xavi says:

    "watch the recorded video of my talk while trying desperately to stay awake"

    Things sound differently out of context, don’t they?

  6. ChrisR says:

    I must be thick, I cannot figure out what is going on here.

  7. Morten says:

    @ChrisR: Raymond is helping you to get the full conference-experience in the comfort of your own home. Although I’d happily forgo the pleasure of 4½ of the 5 items and just watch the video in the evening, some people are probably pining for the rest of it. Whatever rocks your boat… :-)

  8. Neil says:

    Why is it that a 1.55 ounce chocolate bar sounds unreasonably accurate to me when all it is is a 44 gram chocolate bar?

  9. Nick says:

    Aw, Amazon is giving a 404 for that link now.

    And what the heck! When MS came to my school’s career fair, they handed out small boxes of laundry detergent (really) with that design. More useful than a candy bar, maybe, but much less tasty.

    [Oops. Fixed the link. Trust me, it wasn’t exciting. -Raymond]
  10. Van H. says:

    Raymond seemed very nervous during the talk. Any slashdot attendees? :P Relax Raymond !

    Anyway, I enjoyed the talk. I dislike talks with tons of slides and the speaker just reads them out. Another fantastic speaker is John Carmack. His Quakecon speeches are legendary. He just stands there for an hour w/o any slides or material and talks about really interesting topics.

    Since we now know the secret of how to get Raymond to attend conferences, We need more people to invite Raymond and get him to talk about esoteric coding topics !

  11. Gabe says:

    The big problem is that it is a 100-200MB download that took hours at 10k/s, only to see a little square of motion in the corner and mostly static slides. We would be much better served by a 30MB audio file.

    Obviously Raymond has no control over this, it just makes me wish that he had more slides so the bandwidth didn’t feel like such a waste.

    [Are you sure it’d help? The bandwidth requirements for a static image are pretty low. -Raymond]
  12. ulca says:

    It’s 1:14am CET time, i stayed up since i have enjoyed this talk a lot, thanks!

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