Caption contest: The pinball machine

I may regret this, but here's something new: A caption contest. One of my colleagues saw this picture on a company's Web site.

Pinball machine with flipper about to strike ball.

The original caption for this picture was something like Join our affiliate program or Score big with our affiliate program. Your mission is to come up with something funnier. Here are some ideas to get you started:

  • Do you have balls of steel? Maybe you can become an affiliate.
  • We love to flip off our affiliates.
  • When you become an affiliate, you're going to get whacked around a lot.
  • Sooner or later you'll end up in the hole.
  • We like to play games with you. Become an affiliate today!

Now it's your turn. Keep it friendly.

Comments (56)
  1. Falcon says:

    The kick in the balls you’ve been waiting for

  2. Mark says:

    Got time and money to lose?  We’ll give you a turn.

  3. Marky Marketer says:

    Tilt the web in your favor.  Get the ball rolling and score big by joining our affiliate program.

  4. Mark says:

    Take the plunger!


    Join our affiliate program.  You can’t win!

  5. Marky Marketer says:

    Hey, that was funny, it’s just funny in a different way.  The kind of way the original was.

  6. hans says:

    We flip your balls.

    Hit our bumpers with your balls.

    Flipper is a dolphin.

    There is no silver bullet.

  7. keith says:

    Our affiliate program: Pay us $2000, and collect 25 cents per user.

  8. Mark says:

    Join your customers in paying for flashing lights with our affiliate program.

  9. I'm Old says:

    "Do you want to be an important part of hiests?" – Join our affiliate program.

  10. James Schend says:

    Join our affiliate program- $.50 for every game of 3D Space Cadet Pinball played!

    (BTW, the worst change in Vista? No pinball game! Although the one with the robots is pretty cool.)

  11. John says:



  12. porter says:

    Were you expecting a level playing field?

  13. Evan says:

    Join our affiliate program and receive a pinball machine!

  14. keithmo says:

    There is no success, there is only prolonging the inevitable failure.

  15. RobO says:

    Tommy says become an affiliate today!

    (ok, well he didn’t so much *say* it)

  16. Kevin says:

    If you can spot the relevance of this image to our services, you belong in our affiliate program!

    Confused? Look at the pinball! Ok, now be an affiliate!

  17. Ben says:

    Deaf? Dumb? Blind? You’re our perfect affiliate!

  18. John Truong says:

    No matter what you do, it’s going to fall in the gap eventually.

  19. alex.r. says:

    Our affiliates get free access to a large collection of irrelevant stock photography.

  20. Mark says:

    Tired of hurting your wrists on competitors’ products?  Get common tasks done quicker with our new pinball wizard. *

    * requires affiliate program, available separately

    I think I’m done now.

  21. Adam Ruth says:

    Affiliates get a free play.

    Become an affiliate, or the ball gets it.

    We don’t whack affiliates in the balls.

    Bounce around our bumpers for a while.

    Plan It Now, Become Affiliate, Limited Licenses.

    Still more fun than Pong.

  22. steveg says:


    We plug the gap you can’t reach — but your balls can.

  23. Dustman says:

    Our affiliate program will use your balls to bang our customers until they light up! At least until all your balls are drained.

  24. J says:

    Pictured above:  The most boring looking pinball game ever created.

  25. Affiliates: Keep on feeding us the coins and we’ll keep on feeding you the balls.

  26. Hedgeek says:

    Join Our Affiliate Program Today!

    It is a useless waste of time and it will cost you a fortune.

  27. Anonymous says:

    John: glad to see the *chans are screwing up our favourite websites.

    "I’ll pull your plunger if you affiliate my bumper."

    Or as they say on the *chans:


  28. Miral says:

    Don’t drop the ball — become an affiliate!

    But yeah, that’s a pretty boring table.

  29. tyler says:

    OurCompany: Because it’s all just a game.

  30. tw says:

    Become an affiliate and we’ll be forever in your pocket.

  31. GBC says:

    Only 5,000 more referrals until MULTIBALL

  32. Puckdropper says:

    Join our affiliate program today!  We’ll give you quarters so you can play pinball and wash your clothes!!!

  33. Michael says:

    Join our affiliate program and be as bored as someone playing this pinball game.

    Bored of playing pinball all day? Join our affiliate program!

    We guarantee that our affiliate program will be more fun than this loser pinball game so join now!

    After you pay the fee to join our affiliate program we should be able to get a better graphic! Join now!

  34. Aaron says:

    Our paddles would like to become affiliated with your balls.

  35. Worf says:

    Affiliates play. SDTM[*] for everyone else.

    Affiliates win. SDTM for losers.

    Why risk it? Affiliates get ball(s) savers!’

    Everyone plays. Affiliates can’t TILT.

    [*] Straight down the middle

  36. Chris says:

    Robo Smile!

    Bust teeth!

    (Slighlty obscure reference)

  37. jimmy says:

    Wasted effort? Join our affiliate program, we’ll give you a good whack, and keep your balls in the game!

    Feel like everyone else is playing games with you? Join our affiliate program today!

    Feel like your balls are getting smacked around? Its time to join our affiliate program!

    Join our affiliate program, and spend the rest of your life playing pinball!

  38. DysgraphicProgrammer says:

    Join our affiliate program, we’ll bounce you around chaoticly, then drop you down a hole.

    Join our affiliate program, we’ll treat your business like a game.


  39. Rob says:

    Learn to design pinball machines in your spare time!

  40. Timothy the Tool says:

    Are you tired of playing whack-a-mole with affiliate spammers? Then why try to beat them when you can join them?  All that’s required are balls of steel, some good game, and the ability to paddle anti-spammers hard without tilting. Join us today and score high.  Don’t let your future go down the drain.

  41. -dan says:

    Join our low budget affiliate program – We couldn’t even come up with an image of a pinball machine that has a ball feed.

    Which could be shortened to:

    Join our affiliate program – Where nothing really works.

    or simply:

    Join us and Tilt! Game over.

  42. skarnis says:

    Join our affiliate program and you won’t get bounced around.

  43. robertowa says:

    How about: "Microsoft affiliate program" ? ;)

  44. Andrew says:

    Join our affiliate program, it’s like that Back to the Future, but instead you go to 1975 and you don’t get to invent Rock and Roll.

  45. CmraLvr2 says:

    Our affiliate program is tiltillating!

  46. MarcT says:

    Sound like fun! Will you post a/some "winners" for each of these? Enable my laziness, please!

  47. alexx says:

    Wanna join our affiliate program? INSERT COIN!

  48. xorl says:

    What the? Is this the first post here on TONT that actually has a /picture/ in it??? Just… Wow!

  49. Gavin Greig says:

    Join our affiliate program!

    We’ll be deaf, dumb and blind to all your needs.

    (Sorry, WHO are you?)

  50. Brian Tkatch says:

    Want to game the system? Become an affiliate today.

    Become an affiliate today, because winning is not a game.

  51. Ens says:

    Our affiliate program is a strange game:

    The only winning move is not to play.

  52. Sarkie says:

    Do you want to be a big paddle in a small game? Join our affiliate program.

    If your balls haven’t dropped yet, join our affiliate program

    Our affiliate program is not a game.

    Be our third paddle, join our affiliate program

    Join our affiliate program. (Picture is unrelated)

    Get more points with our affiliate program then on a 2 foot pinball machine

    Are you up sh** creek without a paddle? Join our affiliate program

    /me goes back to coding

  53. Cletus says:

    I am a geek.  I am not affiliated with humor.  This is my home-made pinball machine.  Join me in my basement.

  54. Cletus says:

    Oops, sorry.  I thought we were making fun of each other now.

  55. Roger says:

    Join our affiliate program: 25cents per round.

    I kind of like Raymond’s original suggestions best.

  56. Hedgeek says:

    Join the Microsoft Affiliate Program (Codename Pinball)


    You don’t earn any money but you can brag to your friends you were on the Pinball Beta Test team.

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