Microspeak: Space delivery


As I noted in an earlier entry of Microspeak, the real estate department here has their own weird jargon. Today's phrase is "delivering space":

Listed below is the schedule for delivery of space over the next twelve months.

Translation: "Listed below is the schedule for when new office space will become ready for use over the next twelve months."

Comments (14)
  1. Anonymous says:

    It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. We had a delivery of a big load of space a couple of weeks ago. Even though we desperately needed it, we were forced to send it back–we had nowhere to put it.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Usually I find the Microspeak articles entertaining as they show the corporate abuse of language.  However, this is one case that seems to make sense.  It is much more concise than your translation.  Isn’t that what happens with a spoken language, in that it moves toward conciseness?

  3. Anonymous says:

    > Isn’t that what happens with a spoken language, in that it moves toward conciseness?

    That’s just one tendency competing with many others. Too much concision leads to incomprehensibility.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Does the delivery of space come with complimentary dark mater ?

  5. Anonymous says:

    Do you also get periodic deliveries of time, or do they dole that out constantly?

  6. Anonymous says:

    I need some space for my kitchen do they deliver off-campus?

  7. Anonymous says:

    ‘lots of new offices’ = ‘massive distributed DoS’

  8. Anonymous says:

    Translation: "Listed below is the schedule for

    when new office space will become ready for use

    over the next twelve months."

    Uh, no, not better. How about this instead:

    New offices (when):

  9. Anonymous says:

    If Microsoft can’t go to space, space will come to Microsoft*.

    *- Apparently, in a delivery van.

  10. Igor Levicki says:

    Raymond, your post title doesn’t have the same meaning as the jargon you are criticising.

    >Space delivery<< is a delivery made in space. Ever watched Futurama?

  11. Anonymous says:

    Think Igor needs to brush up on his English.

  12. Anonymous says:

    There are other definitions for "deliver," such as "to hand over or surrender."  Delivery does not necessarily mean the transport of tangible objects from one place to another.

  13. Igor Levicki says:

    @Iain:

    It was a joke, sigh.

    Obviously thas phrase isn’t Microsoft specific (TM):

    http://www.fmlink.com/ProfResources/HowTo/article.cgi?BOMI%20International:howto1003.htm

  14. Anonymous says:

    I think you will find that the real estate department subcontracted everything to NASA.

Comments are closed.