There’s not much luggage space, unless you dump the snow


Every year, Road and Track magazine reviews a strange vehicle in their April edition. Last year, it was the 1949 MG TC. But my favorite is their 2005 review of the Zamboni 500.

[T]he Zamboni leaves the line with alacrity (revved to its 3000-rpm redline), rockets up to 9.7 mph and then stays at exactly that speed for the full 200-ft. length of the rink. Those old myths that you will "black out" or "be unable to breathe" at speeds above 9.5 mph proved to be completely untrue. I was perfectly comfortable, once I got over the excitement, and felt no ill effects then or later.

There's not much luggage space, unless you dump the snow, and $50,000 is a lot of money for any sport ute with a top speed of only 9.7 mph.

(The page also contains links to previous April Fool's stories.)

Comments (7)
  1. derek says:

    Hard to beat the March 2002 Car and Driver review of the Cadillac Escalade EXT.  You can’t find it online anymore (and it’s not on Archive.org) but if you can find a copy it’s a great read.

  2. mikeb says:

    > March 2002 Car and Driver review of the Cadillac Escalade EXT <<

    Too bad it’s not online anymore – even Forbe’s magazine gave kudos to the review.

    There’s a copy on sale on eBay for just a buck (oh, plus $20 shipping!).

  3. Monkeyget says:

    "Those old myths that you will "black out" or "be unable to breathe" at speeds above 9.5 mph proved to be completely untrue."

    That’s obviously an egregious lie! No one can survive that kind of speed. Everybody know that when you reach a meager 8.8mph you travel in time.

    Unless the Zamboni 500 doesn’t have a flux capacitor. But with a price tag of 50000$ I sure hope there is one onboard.

  4. Nathan says:

    Is to be a Zamboni driver, once all the programming jobs are outsourced to some 3rd world country.

  5. Gabe says:

    Driving a Zamboni looks easy (just drive around in circles, right?). It’s only when you try to play hockey after the new guy cuts the ice that you realize that there is some skill (art?) to operating the Zamboni.

  6. andy says:

    My favorite review they did was the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile.  

  7. Jonas says:

    > March 2002 Car and Driver review of the Cadillac Escalade EXT <<

    Found a transcription:

    http://casademorrill.com/archives/2002/10/10/a-tribute-to-an-unneeded-accessory/

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