Mind Your Language

Ramble On...

Now I'm all for a bit of healthy competition in the CRM market, and highlighting your products benefits over the competition is just part of a standard sales process. However, I did have to laugh when I saw an e-mail sent by a sales rep. from another CRM vendor, to a client who had recently switched to Microsoft Dynamics CRM.

Watch out, Microsoft not just content to crash your computer, now wants to crash the Internet. This is Microsofts, long-planned, "Software as a Service"... The only problems..?

  • We would be returning to the "Mainframe-->Terminal" (High-Priest) computer architecture, which was intentionally replaced for a very large number of EXTREMELY GOOD reasons (greater speed, control, reliability, processing-power, etc.).

  • Microsoft would be able to change ("update"), alter, or LIMIT, their software whenever THEY [Microsoft] wish... NOT when the -customer- felt it was actually necessary, or appropriate.

  • Microsoft will, very effectively, be side-stepping the entire, recent, Supreme Court decision regarding -software ownership-. The purchaser would no longer have (or control) an actual "physical copy of the software". Why do you think that is..? And, what impact do you think that will have on consumer-rights..?

  • Microsoft could do (as they have always done)... and change formats, and methodologies, (and, very effectively, lock-out competition) whenever Microsoft felt like it.

  • Once Microsoft has the apps, you (or your business) depend-on, locked safely away in their servers... they can increase rates, charge "per user" (another, long-stated, Microsoft goal) at any time...and you [the customer] will simply NO SAY about it.

  • Basically, this would turn -computers- into little more than locked-down, locked-up, "Microsoft-services" delivery-devices (which are specifically designed to perpetually extract revenue, and impose absolute external-control, over ALL Computer-users).

  • And, you will, almost certainly, end-up... PAYING MORE.

In short, the entire Microsoft "cloud computing" push... fundamentally eliminates virtually ALL of the overwhelming advantages associated with the entire Personal-Computer industry (personal- power, convenience, control), and, would hand-over everything that Bill Gates/Microsoft... ever wanted... directly into the hands of a repeatedly-convicted illegal-monopoly (whose biggest problem has always been their complete failure to provide for, or even acknowledge, their customers actual needs/wants).

And, if you know anything about the history of Microsoft and the microcomputer industry, in general, then you would know just how destructive that will inevitably be to consumers (and any element of the industry that isnt directly controlled/owned/allowed... by Microsoft).

And, THAT, should scare the Hell out of anyone.

Now although this was nothing more than a tirade of anti-Microsoft sentiment devoid of coherent argument, what I really found amusing was the appalling misuse of grammar and syntax. Please, please, please, if you are going to engage in mindless diatribe and bad-mouth your competition, make sure it doesn't make you look like an inarticulate buffoon. Better still, for real inspiration as to how you should insult someone, let me remind you of the scene from Monty Python's "Holy Grail" where the French soldier is taunting King Arthur from the battlements:

"I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries"

Much better, don't you agree? Needless to say, the client was less than impressed with the vendor and replied as follows:

Slamming your competition and making disparaging comments about them is not a very professional way to sell your services. If your product is really superior, it should stand on its own merits, and there is no need for this type of scare tactic. Please do not contact me again, and try to be more professional in the future.

You see folks. Poor grammar just ain't (*sic*) good CRM 🙂

This posting is provided "AS IS" with no warranties, and confers no rights.

Laughing Boy

Comments (1)

  1. glazov_evgeny@hotmail.com says:

    Being a native speaker of Russian, I can’t notice any serious mistakes with the exception of distorted interpunction and excessive use of capitals. For me it is perfectly ok, even convincing. 😉

    With best regards,


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