Certified As*

You guys were such a hit with your little hat slogans that they ended up being made for a bunch of different TechEd events around the world (I hope some of you reading this got one), and our marketing team is going to make some new ones for next year. Here's what we made last year:

FedExCertified Geek

Certified GeekGrrrl

Certified Smart As*

Certified. I am. You're Not.

Certified Hero




Given that you charmed the pants off of most everyone (and offended the remainder) with these, it will be hard to beat. But we need some more ideas for next time. Here are some of the favorites that didn't make the cut last time. Plus a few new ideas; some of my best work, I won't lie.

  • Certified AllThat+Chips

  • Certified Rock Star

  • Certified Grok Star

  • Certified I Grok

  • Certified Or are you just glad to see me?

  • Certified *.*

  • Certified Expert

  • Certified M Cizzle Pizizzle

  • Certified by Microsizzle

  • Certified IT A-Team (on back: I love it when a plan comes together)

  • Certified Troubleshooter

  • Certified Smallish, Spanish Banana Wearing Origami Hat

  • Certified The Doctor Is In

  • Certified Cougar

  • Certified Veek

  • Certified Sweek

  • Certified Freek

  • Certified .NET or Bust

  • Certified .NETsie-wetsie-poos

  • Certfied My Other Car is a Cape

  • Certified Compiler (on back: You brought 'er!)

  • Certified Cleaning Up Your **IT

  • Certified IT Freak

  • Certified Wizard

  • Certified PlsKThx

  • Certified Ninja

  • Certified Lalalalala (on back, I can't hear you!)

  • Certified Did You Reboot?

  • Certified Iron Python, if You Know What I mean

  • Certified So Calm Down

  • Certified Hellllll Naw

  • Certified Which Explains Why I'm Being Patronizing

  • Certified Shot Caller

  • Certified Don't Hate the Playa (on back: Hate the Game)

  • Certified Don't Hate (on back: Congratulate)

Your thoughts? We'll vote on some of these unless someone puts in some new good ideas. Don't just sit there, for once.

Comments (25)

  1. Certified Bug

    Certified It’s a Feature, Not a Bug

    Certified Trika Blog Reader

    And I still like Certified Certifiable.

  2. Adrian says:

    Certified by Microsizzle

    Definetly my favourite, I’ll try and come up with some alternatives though

  3. Jason says:

    I like Certified *.*

    How about:

    Certified cmdline pimp

    Certified Database Playa

  4. Jimmy May says:

    Trika, you must get these suggestions implemented!  These are all great ideas, and as a DBA & a Les Grossman fan, I gotta get "Certified Database Playa", so Jason gets my biggest kudos. Michael Dragone’s "Certified Certifiable" is a close second.

    We need t-shirts, too, Trika.  Thanks!

  5. Rob Hagman says:

    No Hats for us Europeans at Teched EMEA ?

  6. Lee... says:

    Certified Hyper

    Certified are you

    Certified Mutha-Flippin

    Certified Shoe Circus (for Bill)

    Certified Shouter (for Steve)

    Certified MRKTNG (for Trika)

    Certified Master…too many options to list! 😉

    Certified Period.

    Certified Data Monsta (for SQL)

    Certified AD (for Active Directory)

    Certified ehlo (for xchange)

    Certified Kernel

    Certified Magnificent 7 (something for the future!)

    and finally

    Certified do’in your job THzS…

  7. Pronichkin says:

    Just make caps with EMPTY space. And keep a decent pen at your booth. Let everyone get an unique slogan they want (or you want to give them ;)).

  8. Joe Eckhout says:

    Certified Bow to me!

    Certified Move!

    Certified Get over it

    Certified Uber

    and for Geek Grrls part Deaux….

    Certified Flippn Sweet

  9. Gary Eimerman says:

    Certified 1337

    Certified ≠ n00b

    Certified Genius

    Certified. Yeah, I’m that good.

    and our personal favorite…


  10. RyanB says:

    Certified Get outta my way.

    Certified And I can cook too.

    Certified BOFH

    Certified Virtualized  back: I’m not really here

    Certified Mind Reader

    Certified Manager  back: My TCO is better than your ROI

  11. Are the rejected ones still in the running, such as "Certified since 1857", "Certified, so give me a raise", and my favorite "Certified Case "Basket":"?

    How about "Certified since before you were born" that you can give to those over 50.

    Spell out the *.* — "Certified Star Dot Star" with the ‘dot star’ in a smaller font.

    "Certified Microsoft Exam Passer"

    "Certified by Bill Gates himself"

    "Certified Problem fixer" (with fixer in small font size)

    "Certified Computer Crasher"

    "Certified Human F1 Key"

    "Certified King of the Keyboard"

    "Certified Sultan of the Server"

    "Certified Lord of the Ring Topology"

    I could use some "Certified, so don’t lay me off" and "Certified, so hire me" hats right about now.

  12. What ’bout:

    "NOT Certified to solve layer8-problems!" ?

  13. "Certified – Upps, I did IT again, and again, and a…"

    "Certified to serve mankind"

    "Hyper Certified"

    "Certified, but amiable"

    "Certified, but NOT yet allmighty!"

  14. Ann says:

    The favorite epithet for coworkers around here is "Cert Ho."

    Which could be construed as an exclamatory declaration of forward motion toward a noble goal.

    Or, you know, not.

  15. Erik P says:

    Certified, All your base are belong to us

    Certified, All Your Base

    Certified AYBABTU

    Certified, What you say !!

    Certified Legend

    Certified Get-Help

    Certified BeginProcessing()

    Certified "hello, world!"

  16. Pete Calvert says:

    Certified and capped

    Certified !PEBKAC

    Certified mv n*x /dev/null

    Certified no ID(ten)T

    Certified half-elf ranger

    Certified half-orc barbarian

    Certified 733+

  17. Warwick James says:

    Certifed Exam SMACKDOWN!

    Certified Legend!

    Certified and loving IT!

    I’d pay for any of those caps! 🙂

  18. Mark says:

    Certified – Did you try rebooting?

    Certified – Is it plugged in?  Is it turned on?

  19. Nemo says:

    Certified Ya-huh!

    Certified Nuh-uh!

    Certified… Cha-ching

    Certified Mmm… Oh yeah…

  20. Trika says:

    You guys are fun.

  21. Chris Haaker says:

    Certified: Thats the way I roll

  22. Robert says:

    (front) Certified – MC Everything

    (back) Except Donalds

    Sorry, a bit punny but I chuckled.

  23. hartplaza says:


    Specially after your news about you’r new job. For you:

    Certified MVBB  (Most Valuable Booth Babe)

  24. Thank you for all the very nice e-mails and comments and good-lucks. I really appreciate it. You guys

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