Certified Something

Does anyone remember the baseball hats we made a few years back – they said CertifiedRockstar, CertifiedGo-to-Guy, CertifiedMagician, and CertifiedFirefighter. We gave them out at events to MCPs, who are rock stars and magicians, as you know.

We’ve gotten requests to make more of these, so I wanted to know if you guys have any suggestions for what the new ones should say. Here are my ideas.

  • CertifiedBaller.Shot-caller
  • CertifiedAllthatandabagofchips

It seems highly unlikely we will see these on hats anytime soon.

It would also be cool to make a limited-edition hat just for lady MCPs. Ideas? Here are mine: CertifiedGeekgrrrl or CertifiedXOXOXAML or CertifiedForget your failover, I can’t find my lipstick. I’m just kidding, of course.

If we pick your suggestion someone will send you 20 of said hats, and a bag of chips.

Comments (56)

  1. Larry West, MCSD, MCPD, MCITP, MCTSx5, et al. says:





    And/or other



  2. Leonardo says:

    My ideas are:

    – CertifiedPowerInUrShell

    – CertifedG-2-P-2-O

    – Certified-2-Be-Certified

    …will send more when i think of them.

  3. gomcse2002 says:

    My 2cents are :

    Certified IT Geek from Microsoft

    MS IT Certified Professional in Canada

  4. CertifiedCommunicator








  5. Mike says:


  6. Samuel Campos says:

    Certified SysAdmin

    Certified Latam Guy (only for latam residents :P)

    Certified Blogger

    Certified NetAdmin

    Certified Speaker ( for the one who make conferences)

    Certified … oh yeah!!!

    Certified … isn’t??

    Certified … Finally!!

    Certified … Beast Breaker !

    Certified … 2k8’ers 😛

    Certified … Winner!

    That all 😀

    Regards from Chile

  7. Certified Yawn

    Certified NoNotReallyJustJoking

    Certified MmmHmm

    Certified brb

    Certified drooler

    Certified whoisNIC?

    Certified 80sBrat

    Certified huh?

    Certified CertifiedbecauseIpassed2exams

    Certified SingleWhiteMale

    it just keeps going… But I am blogging this. 🙂

  8. Oh and…

    Sahurtifeyed Spheller

  9. Certified plz.k.thx

    Certified k.thx.buhbye

    Certified IfYouWantMyBodyAndYouThinkImSexy

    Certified Kool Aid Drinker

    Certified … I think I am done for now. No really.

  10. Srinath Kannan says:

    Certified Made my mark

  11. James says:







  12. dave says:


    Certified Sane (are you?)

  13. Yanze says:

    In Europe we don’t do baseball, so we don’t wear hats …

  14. Alfred Myers says:

    Certified *.*

    Serial Certified

    Certified Whatever


    Certified Coffee Junkie


  15. Larry West, MCSD, MCPD, MCITP, MCTSx5, et al. says:

    Just realized my "Certified I.N.S.A.N.E." probably wouldn’t fit on a hat (but would make a nice t-shirt), so I am suggesting the following:

    "Certified Bug Squasher"  [get a free ant with every hat after a background check!]

    "Certified Know-It-All"

    "Certified, so of course I’m better than you"

    "Certified, so you gotta love me"

    "Certified? You damn right I am"

    "Certified? How did you know?"

    "Certified with a Longhorn"

    "Certified Universal Serial Bus Driver"

    "Certified Friend"

    "Certified" [with a downarrow pointing to the person wearing the hat]

    "certified computer god"  [use small letters or all caps so as not to offend anyone]

    In most of the world:

    "Being Certified is better than Sex" [not really]

    but in Chicago and Boston:

    "Being Certified is better than Sox"

    and finally, since we’re talking baseball:

    "Being Certified is better than being a Mariners Fan"

    For the lady MCPs:

    "Certified Professional (no, not that profession)"

    "Certified in the newest profession, not the oldest"

    "Certified Women Make Better Lovers"

    "100% Certified Woman"

    "Certified and a Woman – so I can do it all!"

  16. John O. Edwards (john@jkbj.net) says:

    Certified Penguin Slayer

    Certified GPO Juggler

    Certified Load Balancer

    Certified Restore Point

    Certified MOTO

    Certified End User

    Certified Beta Tester

    Certified KTSI (Keyboard To Seat Interface)


    Certified It’s a Microsoft Thing

    For the one who is not sure what they passed

    Certified 70-Something or Certified 70-???

    And for the one who has passed them all

    Certified 70-xxx

    And here’s one for Trika…

    Certified Booth Babe

    or is it geek???

  17. R says:

    Certified ToiletInspector

  18. Mike Cavel says:

    Certified "Old Guy"

    Certified "Old School Guy"

    Certified in 2 Centuries

  19. Kelly Johnson says:

    Certified Chief cook & Bottle Washer

  20. TJ Casser says:




    Figured the magic theme could continue… 😉

  21. Larry West, MCSD, MCPD, MCITP, MCTSx5, et al. says:

    Okay, my final list (I think):

    Certified Baseball Cap   [some Europeans wouldn’t understand this]

    Certified Thinking Cap   [hopefully, most Europeans would understand this]

    Certified Dunce Cap

    Certified Cap Wearer

    Certified Something   [title of blog entry wouldn’t be bad on a cap]

    Certified Expert

    Certified Smart

    Certified Intelligent

    Certified Savant

    Certified Brain

    Certified Pinky    [the other part of the cartoon duo]

    Certified, So Give Me A Raise

    Certified Pizza Eater  [you might even get Papa John’s to pay for them]

    Certified Lover     [what we are]

    Certified Genius    [also what we are]

    Certified Thinker   [what we are paid to do]

    Certified Guesser   [let’s be honest – what we really do]

    Certified Bullshitter   [let’s be even more honest]

    Certified Chair Warmer  [let’s be really, really honest]

    Certified Presidential Candidate  [If Kucinich and Hunter can run, why not each of us?]

    Certified Do-er

    Certified Be-er

    Certified Do Bee   [anyone remember Romper Room?]

    Certified Beauty  [for the women]

    Certified Drop Dead Gorgeous  [also for the women-belongs on Trika’s head]

    Certified Handsome   [male equivalent of above two-belongs on my head (yeah, right)]

    Certified Good Looking  [unisex version of above three]

    Certified Male   [almost what comes up when you type "Certified" in Word.]

    Certified Rawker

    Certified, but not in Windows ME

    Certified: Deserves More Money

    Certified Overworked and Underpaid

    Certified Work of Art

    Certified: Needs a Life

    Certified Used Engineer

    Certified Since 1857

    Certified Slide Rule Engineer

    Certified Preowned Nexus

    Certified case "Basket":   [that’s certified basket case for you non-programmers]

    Certified Prometric Basher

    — Have a good weekend, y’all. Have fun choosing, Trika.

  22. Nemo says:

    Certified Magician (a magician’s top hat)

    Certified Fire-fighter (a mock fire-fighters hat)

    Certified Safe Hands (with 2 of those clapper hands on top)

    Certified Wiz or Certified Gandalf (a wizard’s hat)

    Certified Miyagi (Who of us who is certified does not sensei a Daniel son or daughter, a karate kid style bandana)

    Certified MicroFolk

    Certified 1 of 2,149,006

    Certified EHLO Communicator

    Certified To Infinity + 1

    Certified Quarterback

    Microsoft, Certifying Wiz Kids Since 1998

  23. Certified Geek

    Certified Samurai

    Certified Microsoft Guru

    Certified…  And you?

    (interested?  ask me how)

    Certified. And nothing else matters…

    Certified after 2 days without sleeping

    Certified Master Chief

    Certified, alive and kicking

  24. What did you do Larry, go through the dictionary?!? 🙂

    Ladies and Gentleman, the winner is:

    <b> <i> Certifed Monkey </b>

    Because we all no it is just a matter of time. </i>

    Thanks to Vlad for the inspiration.

    Trika, not sure if your blog accepts HTML. But true geeks understand!

  25. AdamV says:

    From those above,


    Certified.OldSchool and

    Certified.JackofAllTrades are great

    Certified.UpToMyNeck (sounds like a lot till you think about it)




    Certified.SmartA$$ (or SmartAlec)



    Certified.OKtoProceed  (as in "Click OK To Proceed")




    For guys


    or Certified.WhoCaresIfI’mNotHandsome

    For the girls:


    For those with a :Security cert:


    (hmmm…maybe not)

    For your boss:

    Certified.PHB  (for the IT manager with no technical certs. Maybe did a time-management course once, and has a swimming badge from high school as his greatest resume achievement. You don’t have to tell him what PHB means, make something up.)

    Just to clarify – when you say "chips" I assume you mean what we Brits call "crisps". If you send a bag of chips through the post the vinegar will soak through the newspaper by the time they arrve.

  26. Trika says:

    Excellent. Keep ’em coming. Your fine work is cause for great hilarity on 3rd floor of Building 18…

  27. Mark Parris says:

    Certified – Full of IT.

    Certified – Guru

    Certified – 2008 AD

    Certified – Educated Guess.

  28. Mark Parris says:

    Certified Insomniac

    Certified Contortionist

    Certified  – I should be.

    Certified – Hulk Rider

    Certified Teaboy

    Certified Gopher

  29. Mark Parris says:

    Certified 11111011000   (2008)

  30. M@rTIn X says:


    Certified-Jedi Master


    I Certified-Xtreme Powered by Geek

  31. Certified-Taken for Granted

    Certified-Man Behind the Curtain

    Certified-IT Magician


  32. Arie de Haan says:

    Certified, but otherwise sane

    Certified braindumper

    Certified by MS, who else

    Certified, wanna know how deep it goes?

    Certified – EOM

    Certified, but where is my life?

    Certified, technically. Where can I practice?

    Certified, but what the heck is a Tick Van.

    Certified. Worldwide recognized.

  33. "Certified braindumper" is awesome. lol

  34. Certified, Stop 0x0000000A

  35. Isaac O says:

    Certified:Make My Day

    Certified:Ask Me Why

    Certified:Show me the Money

    Certified:Bring It On!

    Certified:Ask Me a Question

    Certified: I Deserved It!

    Certified:Where is the Competition

    Certified: Ready for The Interview

    Certified: Can’t you see

  36. Chance says:

    Certified Caffeine Conessieur (spell check that one)

    Certified Spellchecker

    Certified…and lovin’ IT!

  37. Jason C. says:

    Certified. Will work for caffeine.

    Certified Super Hero

    Certified Web Searcher

    Certified MCSomethingorother

    Certified AND I know what I’m doing

    Certified (Bill and I go way back)

    Relax, I’m Certified

  38. Dave (UK) .. Waiting to find out that 70-649 result. says:

    Hmm, based on my day-to-day work, I would say… The caps I would deserve/be forced to wear the most are:

    Certified / Saviour of IT

    Certified / Network monkey

    The ones I want to have the most:

    Certified / Microsoft NiNjA

    Certified / I am, you’re not.

    The ones I would most enjoy making my 1st and 2nd line wear:

    Certified / IT lackey

    Certified / By Microsoft. D’oh.

    I really want "I am, you’re not". I would wear it everytime my boss asks me a stupid question and doesn’t take "trust me, I’m right on this one" as an answer for.

    There is of course the ultimate:

    Certified / To read your email

  39. Dave (UK) .. Waiting to find out that 70-649 result. says:

    Certified / To get jiggy with it

    Certified / Enough to ask for a payrise

    Certified / By Chuck Norris

    Chuck says we need new servers… then we need new servers.

    Certified / To delete your mp3s

    Certified / To url-block facebook

    Certified / To Fix the shredder

    Certified / But don’t ask

    Certified / To fix a crisis

    Certified / To make it happen

    That’s it. I’m all done. Back to fixing the shredder .. again :o(

  40. Certified Technical Diva

    Certified and Able = Certifiable

    Certified 11111001100 (1996)

    Certified in Everything

    Certified in Love

    Certified Binary Translator

    Certified but wanting more

    Certified Today, Tomorrow the World

    Certified at Birth

    Certified, Compiled and Bug-Free

  41. Trika says:

    Here is my new favorite.

    Certified As

  42. Trika: You know somebody is going to add an extra S to your "Certified As".

    And if you offer that one, you should also offer a "Certified Elephant" for equal political time.

    You bet your sweet as I’m certified.

  43. Liza Furr says:

    I had fun reading all the suggestions, but I would LOVE to have a hat that said "Certified Geekgrrrl," "Certified Allthatandabagofchips," or "Certified MCSomething"!

  44. Alice says:

    I saw a job listing a couple days ago for a "Network Wizard". Just realized that would work nicely for this… could have several variations for different specialties.

    MCSE/MCSA: Certified Network Wizard

    MCSE/MCSA: Certified Server Wizard

    MCSE+S/MCSA+S: Certified Security Wizard

    MCSE+M/MCSA+M: Certified Email Wizard

    MCDBA: Certified Database Wizard (or Certified Data Wizard)

    MCDST: Certified Support Wizard

    MCDST: Certified Workstation Wizard

    MOS/MSBC: Certified Office Wizard

    MCPD/MCSD/MCAD: Certified Code Wizard

    General: Certified Tech Wizard

    General: Certified Computer Wizard

    (* match corresponding MCTS/MCITPs to each – didn’t include them, to stay concise)

  45. Poastwhore says:

    Certified —-> Forum ‘Poaster’

  46. Arie de Haan says:

    Certified; I Grok

  47. Maybye, something different to show our engagement as IT qualified stuff

    Certified –> How can I help you ?

  48. Jason says:

    Certified SMRT.

  49. Forrest says:

    After watching the premiere of Heroes last night how about

    Certified Hiro


    Certified Hero

  50. Ed says:

    Don’t know what everyone calls you guys, but

    Certified Computer Guy (or Gal)

    probably covers what most of us get called (that’s repeatable 🙂 )

    Certified Scapegoat

    also works…

    How about

    Certified It worked before you touched it.  🙂

  51. Ed says:

    Or better yet…

    Certified Did U Reboot?

  52. Ed says:

    Maybe simpler is better…

    Certified 🙂


    Certified 😛


  53. Trika says:

    MOre suggestions received via e-mail

    Certified super brain

    Certified turn off guy

    Certified man in the middle

    Certified powernapper

    Certified cheater

    Certified supreme commander

    Certified ctrl-alt-del pusher

    Certified water-proof

    Certified so what?

    Certified beauty

    Certified superman

  54. For starters, I’ll be there. Something else is that we’re having weekend certification events, if you

  55. You guys were such a hit with your little hat slogans that they ended up being made for a bunch of different