Favorite Computer Jokes…


I heard this one the other day and wanted to share….

Two strings walk into a bar.  The first one says, “Bartender! Bartender! I want a drink!”
The second one says, “Bartender! Bartender! I want a drink too! blaaaaaaaaah Eeeeeeeek yaaaaaaak oooooooh.”
The first one says, “Please excuse my friend.  He isn’t null terminated.”

My favorite computer joke of all time….

Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea.  Many <insert profession here> were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1!  F1!”, but no one understood.

Got a favorite computer joke to share?

Comments (19)

  1. Mike Dunn says:

    Four fonts walk into a bar. The bartender says "Hey – get out! We don’t want your type in here."

  2. Brian Beatty says:

    There are 10 kinds of people in the world… those who understand binary and those who don’t.

  3. Joe Paris says:

    Two bytes walk into a bar. The first byte turns to the second and says "I think I may have a parity error." The second byte turns to the first and says "yeah, you look a bit off."

  4. Mike Dunn says:

    Two geeks are talking over lunch. The first guy says "You wouldn’t believe what happened this morning. A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said ‘Take whatever you want!’ … So I took the bike"

    The second guy says "Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you."

  5. Alice Liddell says:

    Why programmers often mix up Halloween and Christmas?

    Because OCT 31 = DEC 25

  6. A project manager, hardware engineer and software engineer were in a car heading down a hill when the brakes failed. The driver managed to get it stopped by using the gears and a convenient dirt track.

    All three jumped out and after peering under the car the hardware engineer said, "I see what the problem is and with this handy roll of duct tape I think I can fix it good enough to get us to the next town". The project manager quickly interrupted, "No, no, no. Before we do anything we need to decide on a vision for our future, figure out a plan and assign individual deliverables". At which point the software engineer said, "You know what, I think we should push the car back up to the top of the hill and see if it happens again".

  7. Rich C says:

    There is a great collection of tech humor over at Joel on Software. Find more and/or add your own:

    http://discuss.fogcreek.com/joelonsoftware/default.asp?cmd=show&ixPost=53978&ixReplies=21

  8. Tim says:

    Did you hear about the programmer they found dead in his shower? He was clutching an shampoo bottle with the instructions "Lather. Rinse. Repeat."

  9. How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, it’s a hardware problem.

  10. Ian says:

    A co-worker used to have this in his .sig

    A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human histor

    y – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

  11. Favorite Computer Jokes… Favorite Computer Jokes… I heard this one the other day and wanted to share…. Two strings walk into a bar. The first one says, “Bartender! Bartender! I want a drink!” The second one says, “Bartender! Bartender! I

  12. Dan Borchert says:

    Who’s On First – Revisited

    Abbott & Costello

    For those of you who remember the classic

    "Who’s on First" routine

    Costello wants to buy a Computer from Abbott

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store.

    Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den, and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: No, the names Lou.

    ABBOTT: Your computer?

    COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer.

    I want to buy one.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: I told you, my names Lou.

    ABBOTT: What about Windows?

    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with windows?

    COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

    ABBOTT: Software for windows?

    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office.

    Can you recommend anything?

    ABBOTT: I just did.

    COSTELLO: You just did what?

    ABBOTT: Recommend something.

    COSTELLO: You recommended something?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: For my office?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

    ABBOTT: I recommend office with windows.

    COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, lets just say, I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal.

    What do I need?

    ABBOTT: Word.

    COSTELLO: What word?

    ABBOTT: Word in Office.

    COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

    ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."

    COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue "w" if you don’t start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

    ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

    COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!

    ABBOTT: Real One.

    COSTELLO: If its a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 and 4. Can I watch them?

    ABBOTT: Of course.

    COSTELLO: Great, with what?

    ABBOTT: Real One.

    COSTELLO; OK, I’m at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?

    ABBOTT: You click the blue "1."

    COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

    ABBOTT: The blue "1."

    COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "W"?

    ABBOTT: The blue 1 is Real One and the blue W is Word.

    COSTELLO: What word?

    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

    COSTELLO: But there’s three words in "office for windows"!

    ABBOTT: No, just one. but its the most popular Word in the world.

    COSTELLO: It is?

    ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren’t many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words.

    COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

    ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn’t even Part of Office.

    COSTELLO: Stop! Don’t start that again. What about financial bookkeeping you have anything I can track my money with?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

    COSTELLO: What’s bundled to my computer?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

    ABBOTT: One copy.

    COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.

    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

    (LATER)

    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off??

    ABBOTT: Click on "START"……….

  13. Meisam says:

    Hello

    I’m Meisam Kordi. I’m a “Visual Basic.Net” programmer and usually design the math software.

    I have designed a “2D & 3D functions plotter” recently. This project is very enable in plotting functions and has been written professionally.how do i sale this product????

    Thanks a lot.My mail is:

    Meisam.sg@gmail.com

  14. whaTEVER says:

    THOSE JOKES R ALL DUMB

  15. Reet says:

    Check out this joke –

    Q. What do you call an OOP version of COBOL

    A. "ADD 1 TO COBOL"

  16. Here is a good one I made up myself:

    Q) Why didn’t the clumsy java programmer want to work with C?

    A) Becaue he heard the C was sharp!