Account Protection, Baby!

So, here I am calling up my credit card company to have my address changed (well, I tried online, and failed to login for some reason). After changing the address, she goes: “do you want to add account protection to your card?”
Me: “Yes, most definitely.”
She: “That will be $12.50 per month charged on your card.”
Me: “Hold on, I want the account protection, and I feel that’s something you should provide for your customers without charging them”.
She: “So, is it about the money? If you make money, can’t you spend around 40 cents per day to protect it?”
Me: “Your bank’s networth is in billions. Can’t they spend 42 cents for me to protect my account as a nice gesture of me doing business with them?”
She: “I understand you don’t want the protection then!”

Comments (13)

  1. Jerry Pisk says:

    I’m surprised you even went there. I mean, what exactly do they mean by account protection? It’s a scam, just like extended warranties.

  2. Nick Parker says:

    Isn’t it funny how certain *organizations* can try selling you something they should already provide for free. Case-in-point, look at telephone companies – they are selling a service to keep your number unlisted, yet you still receive unsolicited phone calls.

  3. Luap says:

    It sounds like the credit card company is becoming so bold that they aren’t sensitive to the fact that asking for "Protection Money" makes them sound like they are part of the mob…

  4. Brendan says:

    I think you forgot part:

    She: “Having customers like you pay us an extra 42 cents per day has sure helped us reach our current net worth”

  5. Rev says:

    I’m sure if you’d gone for it she would’ve followed up with this:

    She: "I can see you are a fiscally responsible person. And to be honest the sound of your voice kind of does something for me. I think perhaps I can trust you to help me. You see, these 42 cents a day are actually collected in a giant account that our upper management uses to finance trips around the world and the purchase of large gas consuming, polution belching SUV’s – perhaps the same one that cut you off today on the way to work.

    I have managed to gain access to this account via a program given to me by my boyfriend. But he has since succom to a rare form of east asian cancer and is unable to help me finish our plans to transer these ill gotten funds into an untracable West German bank account. We had planned to run away with this money. But now, all that matters is a that we get enough money for the opperation to save his life.

    We can tell that there is well over three quarters of a billion dollars in this account – all from well meaning honest workers like yourself who have been scammed. Obviously this much money would require a special account to hold it and it would become immediately apparent if we tried to transfer it to our account in the states. The account required to hold such a large amount unfortunately comes at a steep price. And this is where our plan has fallen apart.

    It will cost us 10,000 US Dollars to open this account, but since my boyfriends illness has sapped all our savings, we have only been able to come up with 2,000 dollars.

    Perhaps you could help us by providing us the additional 8,000 dollars needed to open the account. I can see by looking at your records that you have well over this amount in your savings. Please do not be angry that I have pried. But we are desperate. We would be willing to share the three quarters of a billion dollars with you. All that we need is the 8,000 dollars to open the account and complete the transfer. We are so desperate that you may keep all the money. All that we ask is for enough money for the operation, the rest is yours.

    Or.. perhaps.. if you like… You and I might take all the money… and run away together.

    Did I mention you have a sexy voice?

    What do you say?"

  6. In the states, anyways, federal laws already protect your account. Specifics aside, you aren’t responsible for more than the first $50 of any fradulant charges.