How Can You Update Your Computer When the Thing That Updates Your Computer Is Broken?

Simple, YOU CAN’T!!! For a while now my computer’s Automatic Updates has been broken.  No new downloads have appeared, the control panel icon is missing, and the Windows Update site can’t install the updated ActiveX control.  Every time I go to the site it tries to update the WU client and I keep getting this 0x800703E3 funky…

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