For the bosses (including my lovely and gracious wife), I have a new excuse! I’m a highly reactant person. And according to science, I can’t help it. Heh. Which should mean that I can’t be penalized for being a jerk and/or not doing what I’m told, right?
The article focuses on intramarital relationships, but I see no reason why these findings can’t be applied to any old relationship, dysfunctional or otherwise. Do you?
Rather than provide an excuse, though, what it should do is provide focus on specific self-retraining/reconditioning for the “victims” of a yet-to-be-named disorder involving reactant tendencies. (Whatever happened to Obstinate Defiant Disorder? I remember clearly an older gentleman referring to ODD as LOB: lack of belt… God bless Tejas!)
If you find yourself resenting or resisting something that someone else* is saying for reasons that you can’t intellectually quantify, you’re probably suffering under your own reactance… Stop it!
* Insert spouse, boss, client, whatever seems appropriate to the situation. Just promise me that you’ll think about it.