Back from Las Vegas, and now my clothes smell like cigarette smoke


I actually came back Thursday night, but I've been too lazy to jot down some reactions until now.

There are signs on the street directing you to a tram connecting the Monte Carlo hotel with the Bellagio. but once you follow the first sign (that takes you into the casino), there are no more signs telling you how to get to the tram. The tram is a lie.

Actually, the tram does exist, but it's not marked. You have to walk through the entire Monte Carlo casino to the Street of Dreams shops, and then past them and up a flight of stairs to the tram station. When you reach the Bellagio, you then have to do the reverse, walking through the Bellagio to get your way back to the street. I'm not sure if it's actually faster than just walking the regular way.

Note to people who choose swag for conferences: if people are flying into your conference, a toy gun is probably not a good choice for a giveaway.

A word of warning to Japanese tourists: The people in costumes standing around enticing you to pose with them for a picture? After you take your picture, they're going to ask you for money. And apparently, the practice has spread to helpful "volunteer" photographers who will just shrug and walk away if they break your camera.

The Marquee bills itself as a "Nightclub and Dayclub." Doesn't that just make it a "Club"?

I didn't win a Niney, but I did get to meet Lady Gaga (or a least a Lady Gaga impersonator). As a courtesy, I called her "Your Grace." I knew it wasn't the correct honorific, but she seemed okay with it.

Man, that Niney award is heavy. And Scott won two of them! If he packs them both in the same suitcase, he's going to get a hernia.

At the urinal is a small shelf, presumably a place to put your drink while you make room for your next drink.

Let me get this straight. If you visit the Paris Hotel and take a picture of the fake Eiffel Tower, you'll also capture in the frame a U.S. flag. I guess that's sort of like the fake streets mapmakers add so they can detect copyright violations.

One of the figures atop the Paris Hotel is a statue with the simple label Suger. Once again proving that if you know Swedish, the world is funnier. In Swedish, suger means sucks.

When airline pilots come onto the speaker to tell you the weather at your destination, why do they all assume they're talking to other pilots? "The winds are out of the south-southwest, and the cloud ceiling is 10,000 feet, with visibility of five miles and air pressure of 30.05 inches." The only way this could be made more useless would be if a passenger shouted out, "But what's the dew point?" One of my friends suggested that airline pilots are simply frustrated that they couldn't make it as a weatherman.

My clothes smell like cigarette smoke, so I guess what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas.

Comments (23)
  1. Me says:

    The tram is a lie.

    Just in time for this week's Portal 2 release.  ;-)

    (If this were one of the usual queued-for-two-years posts it would be another proof of Raymond's psychic powers)

  2. Sven says:

    "The tram is a lie."

    The tram between the Excalibur and Mandalay Bay is at least better located, but it wasn't actually running the two times I needed it.

    "At the urinal is a small shelf."

    Isn't that normal?

    "When airline pilots come onto the speaker to tell you the weather at your destination…"

    Really? I've never heard an airline pilot just give a straight METAR report. Usually they just say "partly cloudy and 20 degrees Celcius" or something like that.

  3. Tom says:

    Judging by the contents of their video games, the Japanese are well aware of such shenanigans.

    (Reference: Shenmue 2, Yakuza series)

  4. Adrian says:

    The Eiffel tower observation reminded me about the US Post Office issuing new stamps with a photo of the Statue of Liberty.  It's funny, because it's a photo of the replica in Vegas rather than the one in New York.

  5. Chris Long says:

    The airline pilots are just reading out the METAR that they've just received from the Air Traffic Controllers at the destination (or maybe some en-route controllers), with some minimal METAR-to-natural-language translation.  See en.wikipedia.org/…/METAR

  6. Anon says:

    I'm going to Vegas next week. Are there any sights you would recommend? (I'm not much of a tourist but since it's so far for me it seems a pity not to try and do some touristy things)

  7. davep says:

    Funny stuff.

    "I didn't win a Niney, but I did get to meet Lady Gaga (or a least a Lady Gaga impersonator). As a courtesy, I called her "Your Grace." I knew it wasn't the correct honorific, but she seemed okay with it."

    Raymond calls a Lady Gaga impersonator "Your Grace" (and blogs about it) so you don't have to! (Thanks for the service!)

    "My clothes smell like cigarette smoke, so I guess what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas."

    Well, I suppose that STD's don't stay in Vegas either (so, things could be worse!).

  8. Eric says:

    "I'm not sure if it's actually faster than just walking the regular way."

    Most definitely, it's not (faster) since you and it travel a longer distance. But it sure as hell is better than walking the regular way during the 110-degrees summer months, unless you like to be cover in sweat by the time you reach your destination. It also works during the "winter", in case you are wearing a skimpy mini-dress/skirt and you don't like the feel of the cool breeze.

  9. Falcon says:

    You should have complained that the three seashells were missing from the toilet!

    (Commenters: Yes, I know some details don't match, please don't ruin the joke if you can help it at all.)

  10. Robert C. Barth says:

    RE: "One of my friends suggested that airline pilots are simply frustrated that they couldn't make it as a weatherman."

    Having taken some pilot training, I can assure you that pilots know as much or more about weather than "weathermen." Fully half of learning to fly is learning about weather. Considering mother nature can really mess you up in an airplane, it's good to know how she works.

  11. Erzengel says:

    I'll have to ask what's the dew point next time I fly.

  12. Cheong says:

    @Falcon: On a second thought, I recognized that our joke is based on different level. (Mine is from a film…)

  13. Falcon says:

    @Cheong: No, I'm pretty sure we got them from the same film.

  14. Drak says:

    @Falcon, Cheong: I think you did yep. Fun film to watch, and the pinball machine based on it is awesome.

  15. Cheong says:

    @Falcon: Glad to see the channel matches. I was thinking about the joke about a man goes to a toilet and see 3 buttons there. (The joke is actually on the third button named ATR :P)

  16. Worf says:

    Next time the pilot does that, ask for the full report… you want the full wind direction, speeds and gusts. And ask about any remarks too. You can get cloud breakdowns and such…

  17. Cheong says:

    @Falcon: At least you don't have to say "****" a few times to get your toilet paper. :) (Same joke.)

  18. GWO says:

    I'm not entirely sure what honorific one should use for Lady Gaga (in my day, we just called them "Madonna Wannabes", but thats just showing my ago), but given that "Your Grace" is pretty much reserved for Archbishops, I'd guess its not that :)

    ["Your Grace" is also used when speaking with a Duchess. -Raymond]
  19. Neil says:

    Bah, I just realised that I missed out on my chance to find out Raymond's latest OOO/OOF message.

  20. Tom M says:

    I believe Lady Gaga would hold the rank of Baroness, and should be therefore addresses has "Your Ladyship". "Your grace" is, as you say, for Duchess, which is a significantly higher rank, and so I'm not surprised she was OK with it.

  21. No One says:

    I dunno — I figure real nobility would not enjoy someone getting their title or honorific incorrect because it would be a sign that the offender didn't do his homework and, in effect, diss the whole system.

  22. Ari says:

    Pilots and weather: It's kind of like when a non-geek asks us why their computer is slowing down. When we mention RAM, Registry, Hard Drives, Operating Systems, Installed program, Trojans, Ad-ware, Plug-ins…… we do it accidentally because we have had large parts of that knowledge for a long, long time, and can't really remember how it is NOT to know this.

    Most pilots learn to fly around the age of 20 (many start earlier, down to around 13 or 14 if they start with flying gliders) and when they say only what Raymond mentioned in the post they are already simplifying it down to what feels like child level.

  23. twwilliams says:

    And here I thought smoking had been banned in Nevada in public places so that I could finally visit. A bit of searching shows that it's only banned where food is served, so lots of bars have stopped serving foods and the casinos are fair game.

    [Indeed, Nevada is the only place I have seen a sign just inside the doorway of a building that says "Smoking permitted beyond this point." -Raymond]

Comments are closed.

Skip to main content