Speculation around Microsoft Company Meeting 2010


Today is Microsoft’s annual Company Meeting.

Back in August, the Real Estate and Facilities department sent a message to our group of buildings to inform us that the locker rooms would be closed “due to the filming of an upcoming corporate initiative.”

Speculation swirled as to what sort of “upcoming corporate initiative” would require filming in a locker room. The Company Meeting was only a month away, and I suggested that Steve Ballmer might be filming a (shudder) parody of the Old Spice Guy commercial.

Picking up the ball, one of my colleagues wrote the proposed script for this parody:

Hello developers. How are you? Fantastic.

Does your CEO look like me? Yes.

Can he code like me? Yes.

Should you be using Windows 7? I don’t know.

Do you like the feel of productivity? Do you want an operating system that can stream your favorite movies while you tweet about the interesting article you’re currently reading on Wikipedia? Of course you do.

SWANDIVE into the best user experience of your life!

So should you be using Windows 7? You tell me.

Here’s the commercial being parodied, and the first commercial in the series.

Comments (18)
  1. GWO says:

    Nah, its a parody of the classic Coke commercial, starring billg as the the little boy and Steve Ballmer as Mean Joe Greene.

  2. John says:

    I just threw up in my mouth.  Twice.  Once for the thought of Ballmer in another commercial parody ("Except in Nebraska!") and again for the terrible proposed script.  But I guess somebody who is (apparently) mesmerized by the extremely lame Microspeak lingo would probably find the script absolutely hilarious.  I understand different companies have their own corporate culture, but sheesh.

  3. Joshua says:

    So should you be using Windows 7? You tell me.

    NICE!

  4. Timothy Byrd says:

    You got me thinking of the "Studs from Microsoft" video that was a multimedia sample in the MSDN CDs way back when.

    I googled it and, lo, Raymond is the 6th result in the list: blogs.msdn.com/b/oldnewthing/archive/2006/02/14/531800.aspx

    (But it's #1 in bing…)

  5. nadyne says:

    If I have nightmares tonight, I'm blaming you.  

  6. pUnqfUrs says:

    It's speculation ABOUT, not AROUND. ugh.

  7. Fluffy says:

    For a moment I thought I was reading minimsft.

    /shudders

  8. PhilW says:

    How about "My name is Steve Ballmer and Windows 7 really WAS my idea"……?

  9. Nick says:

    I love the Microsoft spoof videos.

    Two favorites, which should be watched in order:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch

    http://www.youtube.com/watch

    :)

  10. Mike Dunn says:

    Finish the video off with a SILVERFISH HANDCATCH!

  11. Cheong says:

    I always wonder… Does Microsoft even need commercials at all?

    Maybe in the new markets… but honestly speaking. Anyone in any of the developed countries believe someone in there doesn't know Microsoft / Windows, or believe commercials will make more people buy Windows 7?

    I believe for most people (especially those who just begin to use computer), Windows (current version) is the default.

  12. GWO says:

    @Cheong Maybe in the new markets… but honestly speaking. Anyone in any of the developed countries believe someone in there doesn't know Microsoft / Windows, or believe commercials will make more people buy Windows 7?

    Sure they do.  They're trying to sell Windows 7 upgrades to frustrated Vista users and persuade new adopters that Windows (which has a very poor reputation for usability/viruses/security) is as user-friendly as OSX, which is perceived as "just working".  Remember "I'm a Mac; I'm a PC" — that's what they're combatting.  Now, neither of those reputations are really justifiable, but thats the perception among the general population do exist.  The Windows 7 ads in the UK are all about usability.

  13. Andreas says:

    Raymond, you should tell your friend he forgot the most important line of the commercial: "I'm on a horse!"

    [That's from the other commercial. -Raymond]
  14. Worf says:

    Gah. I just envisioned Ballmer trying to do one of those Halo Reach videos. I think it was the one entitled "Birth of a Spartan" (halo.wikia.com/…/Birth_of_a_Spartan).

    The fact that both it and the Old Spice one would feature a semi-naked Ballmer *shudder*. Where's the eye and mind bleach? I'm having nightmares tonight. And tomorrow, as I gotta ask what that filming was.

  15. Nathan_works says:

    So did you find out what the locker room was used for ?

  16. Anders says:

    I'm Steve Balmer and Windows layoffs are my idea!

  17. Iago says:

    Man, I wish Windows XP could access Netflix, Wikipedia, and Twitter.  Guess I'll rush out and upgrade!

Comments are closed.