Management-speak: Upping the sats and stimulating the ecosystem


Here’s another sentence that’s so loaded with buzzwords and buzzphrases I’m not sure what language it’s written in.

I just want to have creative control over how my audience can interact with me without resorting to complex hacking in a way that is easy to explain but ups our blogging audiences sats to a new level that may also stimulate a developer ecosytem that breeds quality innovation…

The ellipses are in the original, if that helps any.

The scary thing is: The person who wrote this isn’t even a manager.

Comments (37)
  1. MrPeregrination says:

    <i>The scary thing is: The person who wrote this isn’t even a manager. </i>

    With language skills like that, it’s only a matter of time!

  2. TJ says:

    Sounds like a good candidate for upper-level management to me…

  3. gedoe says:

    no I can see he is not a manager

    he’s an evangelist :) they write like that

  4. Someone You Know says:

    Quite frankly, I’m against people who give vent to their loquacity by means of extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

  5. Mark says:

    I suspect sats is a typo.  Sounds like Birtspeak: I’m surprised there wasn’t mention of a "platform".

  6. Mark (The other Mark) says:

    So- S/He wants to revamp the comment system on a blog site?

    Whey didn’t s/he just say so?

  7. RobO says:

    "I suspect sats is a typo"

    Could it be short for satisfactions?

  8. Nathan_works says:

    Sats may be short-hand for satisfaction — keep the "blog audience" happy..

    And Raymond, you almost have a new header for your blog: "[S]timulating a developer ecosystem that breeds quality innovation"

  9. Mark says:

    Yup, that makes much more sense.  Wow.

  10. mvadu says:

    I have a friend who usually jokes about these management-speaks saying given an audience he can be better microspeaker. He comes up with sentences so full of buzz words, he can beat any one in that.

    After listening to those words, if you go back and try to make connections you realize that they are just collection of buzzwords and not any meaningful sentences.

  11. Brian says:

    I think he meant to type "stats" but that doesn’t really make the sentence any more readable.

  12. This author is only destined for upper-middle management.  The use of golfing metaphors is required at the executive level.

  13. Tobias says:

    I don’t know why, but I immediately got this picture of a 90s media/pr manager standing in a yellow suit in front of a pink and green striped BMW shouting into his ridiculously oversized cellphone into my head.

  14. Roman says:

    Nitpick: there is only one ellipsis in that quote.

  15. Niko says:

    Roman. Get a life. Really. Do it now.

  16. Adriano says:

    @Niko: the reference to GTA IV wasn’t lost. Time we three get a life.

  17. Nicole DesRosiers says:

    That sentence loses me around the "without resorting to complex hacking in a way…"

    Adding commas in what seems like the most reasonable places comes up with:

    "I just want to have creative control over how my audience can interact with me, without resorting to complex hacking, in a way that is easy to explain, but ups our blogging audiences sats to a new level that may also stimulate a developer ecosytem that breeds quality innovation…"

    Which would translate to:

    "I want to have creative control over how my audience interacts with me, but that also satisfies them.  I don’t want to have to resort to complex hacking to do that.  I hope that by imposing that sort of creative control I’ll be better able to stimulate the developers I’m targeting to produce more innovative programs, with better quality."

    Is that right?

  18. Matt says:

    "Make it do what I want," he says, "without me having to tell you what I want it to do."

  19. Larry Hosken says:

    The person who wrote this–are their blog posts like that, too?  If so, it might not be too hard to tweak the blog comment UI to help the audience to, uhm, interact with such a  blog post.  I’m thinking: a button that automatically generates a comment saying "Huh? This blog post makes no sense."

  20. Steve D says:

    "ups our blogging audiences sats to a new level"

    Obviously it should be a capital ‘S’ and s/he is hoping their Saturdays are better than ever before!

  21. porter says:

    Do people who continually demand "innovation" really mean "everything thing we have at the moment is still crap"?

  22. Eugene says:

    I only read the first 140 characters. Was the rest of it good?

  23. nobugz says:

    It can be rescued, somewhat, if you imagine a period after "level". The message then might turn into: "I don’t like to blog, looking for something else".  Given the clarity of the message, that’s understandable and I’m personally grateful the writer sees his/her limitations.

  24. Cheong says:

    Emmm… Strange… I think I’ve seen something like this before… When someone talked about Facebook?

    Anyway, the description seems matches the design goal of Facebook API…

  25. Timothy Byrd says:

    Um, Raymond, if you have an English translation of that available, I’d be grateful if you’d post it.

    At my previous job, we brought in our first CEO (we were a startup and we wanted to seem, oh, more credible, I guess). In his first company-wide email among other things he urged us to "leverage our core competencies into a pro-active engagement with the customer".

    I’m still scarred from that.

    — T

  26. Worf says:

    I think we have an English equivalent to lorem ipsum here…

  27. Gabe says:

    I read "sats" from a medical perspective, interpreting it as "O2 saturation values". In other words, interacting with him gives the audience more oxygen in their blood.

  28. Jonathan says:

    Let me try to parse that for you:

    I just want to have creative control (over how my audience can interact with me) (without resorting to complex hacking) in a way that is (easy to explain but (ups our blogging audiences sats to a new level (that may also stimulate a developer ecosytem (that breeds quality innovation…

    error C2143: syntax error : missing ‘)’

  29. Bulletmagnet says:

    There can be only one answer:

    I upped my blogging audiences sats to a new level, so up yours!

  30. Ian says:

    It’s easy.

    I want to have creative control over how my audience can interact with me…

    (Don’t try to tell me what to do.)

    … without resorting to complex hacking…

    (Don’t expect me do anything difficult.)

    … in a way that is easy to explain…

    (Don’t expect me do anything difficult.)

    … but ups our blogging audience sats to a new level…

    (Spurious justification for the above.)

    … that may also stimulate a developer ecosystem that breeds quality innovation…

    (Spurious justification for the above.)

  31. Foobar says:

    I love the "ups our blogging audiences sats to a new level" part.

    If I may alter it a bit, it’d read: "ups our blog aud sats to new lev"

    Note my poetic use of alliteration, and how it does not decrease information content or make the passage more difficult to understand.

  32. Niko says:

    @Adriano Yeah I probably should play that game less often :)

  33. acq says:

    To all who are fascinated with quoted formulation, you can find much nice examples here:

    http://blogs.msdn.com/somasegar/

    First post at the moment, first sentence:

    "As the web continues to play an increasingly central role in terms of enabling people to create and deliver experiences and applications for consumers around the world, it is important to have a tool that is up to date with modern web standards and relevant to the needs of web designers.

  34. Mark Ingram says:

    That’s positively dreadful. I understood the first few words but then it all turns to drivel.

    Did they use a thesauraus on every single word??

  35. JamesNT says:

    People who speak that way have broken every law Darwin has ever written.  Why are they still alive?

    JamesNT

  36. Ben Voigt [C++ MVP] says:

    @acq:

    While Soma’s post does seem overly wordy, it actually makes sense.  Probably this is because without abbreviations, you can figure out the sentence structure from the available words.  Which one can’t do when the words need to be figured out from context which isn’t known until the words are.

  37. Edd P says:

    I only see one ellipsis and certainly no misshapen circles…

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