Would a team of midgets be the greatest offense in baseball history?

Todd Gallagher answers the weird sports questions you always wondered but knew were too stupid even to ask. Think of it as the sports version of Mythbusters.

  • Would a team of midgets be the greatest offense in baseball history, because they would draw walk after walk after walk?
  • Could a morbidly obese goalie shut out an NHL team?
  • Could an average person beat a professional tennis player if the pro had to use a frying pan instead of a racquet?

Well, he sort of gives away the answer to the last question in the title of his book, Andy Roddick Beat Me with a Frying Pan. The stories behind how he set about finding the answers to these absurd questions are even more entertaining than the answers themselves! Here's an interview with Only a Game's Bill Littlefield. [Direct link - Real format]

On a somewhat concidental note, tonight I'm going to watch the Seattle Thunderbirds take on the Tri-City Americans, making good on my earlier admission of the possibility of seeing another hockey game. Hopefully with normal-sized goalies.

Comments (9)
  1. nathan_works says:

    from the washpost covered this book about 2 months ago. Wasn’t enough to make me go buy it, but certainly seemed interesting.

  2. Puckdropper says:

    Thanks for the link about the goalie.  We’ve joked about that on many an occasion.

    Have fun at the hockey game.

  3. John says:

    The Real Kris Beech had an even more depressing comment for our new star: "You might spear him and see if chocolate came out."

    He said that in a real game a portly net-minder wouldn’t stand a chance. "You’re kind of a sitting duck in net like that. And if that was my skin instead of padding I would be in the emergency room or dead right now." Pussy.


  4. Mick says:

    Scott Adams brought the goalie one up a while back. The answer is that goalie equipment size is regulated in the rulebook, so while the goalie would be able to use his body to prevent the puck from entering, it wouldn’t be pleasant. :)

  5. A team of midgets might be a good offense, but when it was their turn to field the tables would quickly be turned… the games would be very long indeed, but I don’t see that the midgets would have an advantage.

    I suppose you could have a midget DH and a pitcher selected for pitching ability (that is, the pitcher doesn’t need to be a midget too.)

  6. Anon says:

    I was a competitve table tennis player as a kid (state junior champion, junior olympics and all that).

    I used to play my friends with a clipboard and spot them 10 points.

    I never lost…

  7. Doug says:

    What I found amusing was the Amazon links that tried to sell me Frying Pans on that page…

  8. xix says:

    I don’t see why a very large goalie violates any more ‘spirit of the game’ than increasingly tall basketball players. Would a basketball team ever reject someone because they were too tall?

  9. Cody says:

    If they were so tall they could do nothing but stand at the basket and put the ball in while risking a heart attack they might pass on the PR debacle.

Comments are closed.

Skip to main content