Don’t drive your pick-up onto the roof of a house, especially if, well, read on

Back in 2000, a crazy stunt made the front page of the local newspaper, and it still holds a special place in my heart years later. We begin with Man drives pickup onto friend's roof as a stunt. The story opens with the picture of said pick-up on the roof of a house with its proud owner. That picture already tells a story. The run-down house, the pick-up on the roof, the can of beer, the frat-boy self-satifaction... And the article hasn't even begun yet.

As Dave Anthony's pickup truck sank slowly through the roof of a one-story house yesterday morning, he popped a Spin Doctors CD into a player and reached for a can of Budweiser.

"It wouldn't be a good life without a challenge," he said. "If you don't break something, you aren't trying very hard."

You don't have to wait long before you find a sentence that begins

It began with a few beers...

When a sentence begins that way, the odds are slim that the second half of the sentence is going to be "... and ended without incident."

The article is basically every single joke about Kent rolled into 700 words. Kent is a suburb of Seattle which Seattle-ites look down upon, and the story does nothing to dispel the stereotype. You could take the article and just run it straight on Almost Live! (Here's a typical parody.)

But the story doesn't end with that article. Less than a week later, the hero of the story found himself in even more hot water. I'll let the follow-up article's opening sentence explain:

Driving your pickup truck onto the roof of a house and getting your picture in the newspaper doesn't make a whole lot of sense when police want to talk to you about a $2,800 set of tires purchased with a stolen credit card.

Comments (19)
  1. Nathan says:

    Then someone says, "Watch this!"

  2. Dan McCarty says:

    A redneck buddy of mine once told me that all good redneck games start with someone saying:

    "Hey y’all, watch this!"

  3. John says:

    For some reason I am reminded of this (, although there is no mention of alcohol or rednecks.

  4. Dave S says:

    Heh. I’ve lived in Kent the last 13 years and watched it move from complete redneck-ville to yuppified suburban sprawl. I’m not certain which I prefer…

    My favorite Kent-related Almost Live skit was definitely Green Riverdance (

  5. TravisL says:

    Something else subtle but very interesting in the second article: the tires "were purchased with a credit card stolen from a retired Auburn doctor [who] reported his wallet stolen from a Kent motel."

    Seeing that Kent and Auburn are adjacent cities, what would an Auburn doctor need to be doing in a Kent motel?  I’ve got guesses, none of which sound very clean.

  6. tomsmi says:

    Hey…I grew up in Kent!  This brings back lots of memories. :)

    You should have seen it 10-15 years ago.  Way more redneck than it is now.  

    My favorite Almost Live skit about Kent was the Cops in Kent.  The hair not teased out enough, the yuppies from Bellevue coming in and NOT going to Caveman, the missing trucker cap.  Brilliant.

  7. Jesse says:

    Some people aim for the moon, other go for the roof…

  8. David Conrad says:

    Alcohol: the oil that greases the wheels of stupidity.

    The roof! The roof! The roof is … not designed to bear the weight of a GMC truck.

    You know what would make this story even sweeter? If it somehow turned out they tore the wrong house down. Yeah.

  9. Mike Dunn says:

    Alcohol: The cause of, and solution to, most of life’s problems.

  10. Chester says:

    That is the only thing that comes to my mind when I see such "feats":

  11. James says:

    The pickup-idiot combination reminded me of a guy who had a row with his girlfriend, lost his temper and started smashing up her vehicle (a pickup, I think) – using a shotgun. From the fact the story was widely told, you can probably guess what happened next.

    Then there’s a family in Scotland which had a long-standing feud; eventually, they resorted to *fire-bombing* the other family. Not bright, considering they lived in the apartment below, and fire tends to go upwards…

  12. Anon says:

    I’ve noticed something odd about the US/UK compared to Sweden. It’s not like the average intelligence level is much different, but the standard deviation is much, much higher. So you have people who are absolutely brilliant, and people who are as dumb as this guy. Small numbers of both of course, but it doesn’t take very many ultra smart of ultra stupid people to make a difference.

  13. Hayden says:

    Not fair really. It’s his truck to wreck. He’s got permission to wreck the house. So, yes, he’s a loon, but still a harmless loon. Why should he have to pay $700 to have it towed off? If he totals it trying to drive it off, that’s his lookout, surely?

  14. oliver says:

    Coming next in all pickup truck manuals: "Do not drive on roof" …

  15. Mr. Potter says:

    I guess if you’re going to get those fancy monster tires you’ve always lusted after, well, you’ve got to find something to do with them.

    So whatever happened to old Dave? Anybody know?

  16. DriverDude says:

    > If he totals it trying to drive it off, that’s his lookout, surely?

    Remember, this is America. Somebody (parets/sibilings/children) might sue the city if he hurt himself while the police were watching. The police demonstrated they have the authority to stop this stupidity; had they not done so, they might be held liable.

    And as Oliver pointed out, a warning will appear in the manual about driving on a roof…

  17. David Conrad says:

    "Then there’s a family in Scotland which had a long-standing feud; eventually, they resorted to *fire-bombing* the other family."

    They resorted to *fire-bombing* the other family? Where did they think they were?? Ireland???

    (Sorry. Couldn’t resist.)

    "If he totals it trying to drive it off, that’s his lookout, surely?"

    The police knew he had been drinking. I think it’s more a question of, what if he totaled himself while a dozen policemen stood by and watched? They might come in for some criticism.

  18. Neil says:

    Similar crime story recently in the UK: a jewellery burglar left behind his keys and CV [US: resume]; when the police got in contact with him he apparently asked for his keys back.

Comments are closed.