Apparently I can’t take myself anywhere


Upon arriving at the office, I unpack my bicycle bag and remove a crisp new white shirt. I change into my work clothes, and then at 11am, I head to lunch as I usually do. (This is the lunch group that includes JeffDav and occasionally BenCon.) I get a sandwich, sit down, and immediately drip sauce on my brand new shirt. Can't even keep a shirt clean for two hours. Fortunately, I keep a spare shirt in my office so I am able to change and give the now-no-longer-purely-white shirt a bit of a wash in the bathroom sink before the stain set.

Comments (23)
  1. DrPizza says:

    My record is about 10 minutes between "put shirt on" and "cover shirt with food".

    1100 is ridiculously early for lunch.

  2. grouse says:

    Not if you skip breakfast

  3. someone says:

    Wow – early lunch at 11am…

  4. Jon says:

    Given that Raymond regularly posts (presumably from work) at 7:00 AM (and sometimes posts corrections shortly afterward, so it’s not just a script doing that 7:00 AM thing), 11:00 AM doesn’t seem quite so early for lunch…

  5. Mee Lovee says:

    Your mistake? Wearing clothes to work. It’s much more difficult to stain your skin permanently.

  6. Debbus says:

    "Can’t even keep a shirt clean for two hours".

    So he starts at 09:00 AM ?

  7. ringzero says:

    I once spilled something on my shirt too!

  8. Rick Schaut says:

    There’s always the self-referential version of Henny Youngman’s second-most famous line: "I don’t understand it.  I take myself everywhere.  I still come back."

    c.f. for the younger croud, Henny Youngman’s most famous line was, "Take my wife…Please!"  For the above, the original is, "I don’t understand it.  I take my wife everywhere…  She still comes back."

  9. Mike says:

    I go to lunch at 11:00 as well.  I rarely eat breakfast and at 11 there are no lines as opposed to the madhouse of hundreds of people all trying to go food at once at 12.

  10. Chris says:

    Oh, that’s right, I used to go at 11:30 to avoid the rush.

  11. Fox Cutter says:

    I usaly go around 1:30 to avoid the rush.

  12. Pooja says:

    Ha, strikes with familiarity. Normally, I can eat without spilling. But the day I wear a pair of white pants or formal white shirt, I am doubly careful and yet spilling is bound to happen. Usually by my hands, else somebody else does the honors .. :( No fun.

  13. JenK says:

    Today I decided to wear a white sweater.

    I also decided to have leftover pizza for breakfast.

    Being a tester, aka paranoid, I ate breakfast *before* dressing.

  14. :: Wendy :: says:

    I’ve always liked the food angle on Jackson Pollack style designs. They should be encouraged.  I’ve never quite ‘got’ the ‘new’ or ‘white’ clothes thang,  expensive and counter to the natural way of being.  Like fighting nature.  Fluffy,  bobbly, uniquely ‘stretched’ and ‘stained’ clothes where every ‘imperfection (?) is soundbite on a story seems ideal.  

    I’ll go back in my hole now….

  15. DavidKlineMS says:

    Invariably, it is coffee I spill on myself.  Living in the Seattle area, I figure it’s a pretty standard "accessory". :)

  16. 8 says:

    "Can’t even keep a shirt clean for two hours".

    > So he starts at 09:00 AM ?

    Bonus point for you =) So he starts at 9AM and has lunch 11AM. Perhaps he’d be better off going to work with a car rather then a bicycle.

  17. JanC says:

    My rule #1: always wear black!   :-P

  18. Jeff says:

    Living in FL, which is a rainy place much like the Pacific NW, I keep extra socks in my desk.

    On more than one occasion I’ve gone to work and had to wade between buildings; it’s difficult to achieve adequate drainage when living on a sand bar only three to six feet above sea level.

    The spare shirt idea is something I’m going to have to think about.

  19. BenCon says:

    That I would not have noticed :)

  20. Sean says:

    Patterned shirts are a better bet.  Try not to eat lunch at 11:00 anymore, it seems to upset a lot of people.

  21. Floyd says:

    Every New Years I celebrate with the annual spilling of the sauerkraut juice.  It really shouldn’t be served on a plate but nobody listens to me.

  22. Bec says:

    My favourite part of this is the fact that he keeps a spare shirt on hand ready… :)

  23. UAE says:

    Well, I wear Dishdasha & no way I’m spoiling it (I don’t carry spares in my office) ..

    so either I don’t eat (for full 9 hours) or just stay in the dark if $$$$ happens…

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