Marriage as a cross-branding opportunity

Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt have decided to besmirch the institution of marriage by deciding that the "until death do us part" thing was neither legally nor morally binding.

"Brad said that they spent the rest of the holiday working out how they would release the news of the split. They worked out together the reasons they would give and how they would protect the brand they have built up."

Oh, nevermind. This wasn't a marriage. It was a joint branding agreement!

My favorite Brad/Jennifer memory was when cardiologist Robert Atkins, famous for his eponymous low-carb diet, suffered a fatal head injury, and the BBC news report was illustrated with a picture of... Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston.

Comments (10)
  1. karl says:

    We call it dirt and smut when celebrities break up and have huge fights (though the zinger from tom Arnold had about having sex with Rosanne being like landing a Boeing 747 in the grand canyon is still a classic) and we complain about how self-centered they are. And then they whine about the media and we call them hypocrites. Frankly, I far prefer the Pitt/Aniston kinda breakup to the other one.

    Secondly, a lot of "normal" people break up with the same fears about image, and how they’ll be perceived (especially in cultures where separations still aren’t the norm). And a lot of them break up and act like children…so really we aren’t any different.

    I guess you’re damned if you do and your damned if you don’t.


  2. mark says:

    I need to ask my wife what our "branding image" is.

  3. Sean says:

    In a way, it was a joint branding agreement. As I understand it, the two own a production company together. This might be the brand they are referring to.

    From imdb: "Along with wife Jennifer Aniston and friend Brad Grey, he owns Plan B Entertainment."

  4. Dominic Self says:

    So how are they going to maintain the brand? Will we be able to select a ‘Jennifer Aniston Classic’ skin during movies which will simulate the old version?

  5. Scott says:

    Do you even know that "until death do us part" was a part of their vows? What kind of ceremony it was? There are many different forms of marriage besides the Catholic/christian one. From what I recall, it was a pretty successfully private ceremony with perhaps the only public information being the attendees gleaned from scummy media in helicopters with telephoto lenses.

    This off-target railing against divorce seems pretty out of place in an otherwise great technical blog, but I suppose that’s one of the downsides of following blogs.

  6. Pedro says:

    My wife said it kind of hurt when I branded her :)

  7. HA HA HA says:

    scot ur rite!

    im terribly hrut thaht ramond has implicitly cast aspersions on my raligios belifs by implyin whatevr it was taht ur iimplyin that he impleid abot those ppls weddign. now ill hafta get theropy. raymend u basterd! uve runed my lief! riuned it it tel u!

  8. Ben Hutchings says:

    My wife and I never promised "until death do us part" because although we’d like that we don’t see any sense in staying married if we come to a point where we could no longer be happy together. Plus we are not religious so we got married in a register office, where any religious text is not allowed.

    Divorcing over a major difference is better than trying to paper over it, having children, and making their lives miserable too.

  9. Just Kidding says:

    So, do we need a fantasy Raymond Chen branding opportunity?

  10. Kelli Zielinski says:

    That BBC article is great.

    "He added that doctors described the 72-year-old’s condition as "very serious".

    Followers of the Atkins diet are allowed to eat unlimited meat, eggs, fish and shellfish."

    But just goes to show, no matter how much meat, eggs, and shellfish a person eats… it doesn’t do anything for their balance on ice…

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