I have an allotment

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Yes, I'd like to come clean. The parish council have just given me the good news and I've handed over £16 and signed a lease. I am, as of yesterday, an allotment holder. What is perhaps most worrying is that I'm excited about it. The site is "roughly 5 poles" in size and looks a bit like this (plan view):

If grey is the new black, allotments are the new extreme sports.