New Zealand - A brief synopsis

Two weeks in New Zealand and I feel I'm suitably qualified to sum up their people, culture and heritage in the following simple bullet points:

  • When scenery was handed out, how come they got so much of it? It doesn't seem fair.
  • Were all NZ architects wiped out in some sort of bizarre architect disaster? Or is amateur architecture a popular (but misguided) pastime? How did all those monstrosities come about?DSCF0571
  • Giant things are very popular. Our giant sightings included:
    • Giant Kiwi Fruit
    • Giant salmon
    • Giant surfer & wave
    • Giant sheepdog & sheep (see opposite)
    • Giant sandfly
  • They like cheese - a lot. Most things seem to come in the following flavours:
    • Thing with cheese
    • Cheesey thing
    • Thing with extra cheese
    • Extra cheesey thing
    • And variants thereof
  • They do a mean pie (BP filling station pies were recommended by locals and turned out to be pretty good!). The butter chicken and peppered steak gourmet varieties get my personal seal of approval.
  • When things break / wear out, just abandon them and buy / build another. In particular, this applies to houses and motor vehicles in rural areas
  • Why have one type of weather when you can have 10 types within 10 minutes (applies to South Island only)
  • Radio. Huge opportunity here for anyone that understands the first thing about music. Or indeed the first thing about radio. Alan Partridge would be a shining star in this radio wasteland.
  • Friendly, outgoing & funny
  • Don't wear your kilt to a New Zealand wedding. I did.
  • Apparently marching groups are fun (I can almost buy that) and have "cool uniforms" (according to New Zealand radio - see above). Sorry - credibility just left the building
  • Their enthusiasm for rugby (and sport in general) meant I was asked about the England vs France result a whole week before the game had taken place (this caught me out as the international date-line thing can be confusing). It also overlooked the fact that I am not English and the only game of note in the six nations is Scotland vs England which we won. Nothing else matters. End of story.
  • Cadbury's Dairy Milk Crunchie. Why don't we get that? If you're in New Zealand, please send me supplies. Please. [Update: It turns out we do get Cadbury's Dairy Milk Crunchie in the UK. Great news (but not for my diet)!]

I reserve the right to add to this list as I recall other aspects of my holiday in the most fabulous of places. New Zealand is just wonderful. There is no other way to describe it. I was absolutely blown away by the people, the landscape, the wildlife. Everything. I didn't want to come home. I would sit on that plane for 24 hours again tomorrow if I could.

Seriously. Thank you New Zealand for an amazing two weeks. And if you've never been there, start saving and planning for your next holiday on the other side of the world. You wont be disappointed.

There ends this public service announcement sponsored by the New Zealand Tourist Authority and the Department of Conservation...