Citizen Statistics

I was on my way to post that my site had not actually been blocked by a foreign government, aside from all the rumors spread recently, that the truth was I had just been incredibly negligent at forming any coherent thoughts or communicating in general beyond my regular guest appearances on several late night talk shows, when to what to my wondering eyes did appear, but a survey popup for MSN.


What had I done to deserve this? Was it some crime in another life, a karmic imbalance on my metaphysical spreadsheet? The appearance had been dramatically tied to my subconscious desire to post. Was there actually a connection? Had the angst of a disillusioned technorati, spurned by my inattentiveness, an undercurrent of outrage simmering for the last few months as the euphoria of the Yoda post was left to wane, whither, and finally die, leaving only the deep unavoidable depression, a vacuous hole unable to be filled by the inadequacies of the surrogate posters, the trivial news bits, the mindless slash-dot like debates, could all of this negativity have possibly culminated into a single psychic backlash, a lightning arc of loathing striking out across the electric ether and manifesting itself upon the screen of this singular purveyor of punditry, alone, at his desk, at midnight, a gruesome request to please answer a few questions, fill in a few blanks like a good sample citizen of our target-market society?


I suppose I’ll never know. However, rest assured the message has been received, loud, clear and in stylized markup. For back to the grindstone I go, feverously cranking out follow on posts with clever and witty humor, enlisting all sorts of Star Wars euphemisms and characterizations in an attempt to bring peace to the cosmos of our disenfranchised, though somewhat wayward, community.


And fear not from where I shall draw forth such an abundance of interesting topics for my specialized editorials. With Ruby on Rails on the loose, finding something to take pot shots at has never been easier.


Still, though, with all the other options available to you the reader, and with a blogroll share dipping into the low zero-percentile, it has come to my attention that I need to offer a more targeted and customized service if I want to find a true niche and a loyal reader base. So if you could take a few moments to fill out the following questionnaire it would be much appreciated. Your answers will be tallied, tabulated, scored, scorched, indexed, cross-indexed, pivoted, hot-keyed and your phone numbers placed on my speed dial, all in conformance with our standard, substandard, privacy and security policies.


Your personal anonymous input is highly valued.


How do you feel about filling out questionnaires?

[ ] S’okay, S’alright.

[ ] Don’t bug me, I bite

[ ] I’ve got a loaded gun and know how to use it.


Which sort of sarcasm do you prefer?

[ ] Dark

[ ] Semisweet

[ ] Milk

[ ] Candy coated


How many readers made it this far?

[ ] All of them

[ ] None of them

[ ] Dang, it’s just me again, isn’t it?


Which sign off do you prefer?

[ ] But I digress


Comments (2)

  1. jonnosan says:

    oh frabjous day

  2. i just can’t seem to find the submit button…

    thomas woelfer

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