Nulls terrify me.
There is something passive aggressive about them. It’s not just that they lurk there in the darkness, unknown, unobserved, biding their time, showing up at the worst possible moments with shotguns blazing, blowing holes into my programs. It’s more than that. It’s something more insidious, deep and unsettling.
I truly believe nulls are evil. And not you average run-of-the-mill bad-for-you-like-donuts evil. I’m talking ground-shaking, god-forsaken, burning eye of Mordor evil. There is a quality about them that cannot be denied. A null is a power unto itself, a dark primitive energy, a grey void of nothingness that consumes everything. Dare not look into one lest you go blind. Dare not try to understand one lest you go mad.
I did look once. I saw beyond the event horizon and peered into the truth. I saw the absence of being, the uncertainty, the ambiguousness. I realized then that nulls were truly unknowable. That they weren’t actually nothing, nor were they anything in particular. They were any and all, yet still undefined, unpinnable. Always potential, never anything real; the energy of all they could be and yet never will.
That’s what makes them so dangerous. They don’t just sit there, satisfied with their un-being. They reach out, surround, and permeate. They are like pariahs, vampires, feeding off everything that is missing, becoming the sum of all that is not there, filling the in-between, becoming the echo of everything left unsaid.
Nulls are antimatter.