Wayward’s Deep Dark Secret


Normally, I'd have titled a post like this as a way to catch wandering eyes and then I'd spew out some silly little tirade about some sinister secret, and it would drag on and on never quite divulging anything and finally ending with either a punch-line or an ironic twist that might make you laugh.  But the truth is much stranger than anything I could ever invent on the fly.  The truth is that there is a secret that lies beneath the Wayward and just thinking about owning up to it is enough to turn me into a nervous wreck unable to type without fumbling over the keys like a nicotine addict too long away from his last puff of joy.


You see the truth is rather embarrassing.  Owning up to it is like admitting to a great social faux pas.  Which wouldn't be so abnormal for the likes of me, being a nerdy anti-social software developer and all, except that this gaff is on the order of epic and it concerns a highly controversial subject matter that many of you probably have livid opinions about and if it came out in the open, the real truth, I would find myself berated by most of you as having played the part of a dastardly villain.  But the truth must be told, so maybe one day all might be forgotten and the Wayward curse lifted from my shoulders.


Yet, its not just my little secret.  It's a family secret and to divulge it would implicate many others.  In fact, its not actually my own indiscretion that I'd would be giving away, but one that I'm only indirectly associated with.  So telling you all now might have repercussions against me that go beyond what opinions of me you might hold in the end.  So after telling you all, if you don't hear from me in a while, it may be that I'm in hiding.  After all, 'family business' is serious business, and they generally don't like being raked through the gutter.  They are a bit touchy about things like that.


So out with it.  Please take all this with the bit of hindsight that is possible when you look back on ridiculous things that happened many years ago, and remember even things like this that capture the entire nation in great debate, turning neighbor against neighbor, friend against friend, child against parent, will all be forgotten one day, will all be smoothed over by the passage of time and in some dark distant future our descendants will look back and laugh at such a frivolous argument. 


It all concerns a certain television show that still airs today, a purple dinosaur and a throng of animatronic children, singing and dancing, and a theme song that stuck in the minds of the people of the world, “I love you, you love me ...“  I'm afraid the truth is that I'm associated with the publication of that song and there is nothing I can do to change that.  I hang my head low whenever I hear it, for I know the horror that has been wrought in my family name.  Please, please, forgive us. 


Matt

Comments (5)

  1. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Hilarious 🙂

  2. Reminds me of the main character in "About a Boy" (Hugh Grant’s one if you’ve seen the film…)

  3. Matt says:

    But this is REAL!

  4. The Young Brother says:

    This IS real and Matt will be taking his lashings over this for making it public.

  5. Matt says:

    Sorry for ‘outing’ you too bro.

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