The Truth about Salespeople…


For those of you who loved "A Few Good Men" with Jack Nicholson and Tom Cruise...and who are salespeople. Sent in by a consummate salesman...

Sales: "You want answers?

Finance: "I think we're entitled to them."

Sales: "You want answers?

Finance (YELLING): "I want the truth!"

Sales (YELLING): "You can't handle the truth!!!"

Sales: Son, we live in a world that requires revenue. And that revenue must be brought in by people with elite skills. People who thrive on cold calling, rejection and false promises. Who's going to find the revenue in the last week of the quarter? You, Mr. Finance? You, Mr. Operations? We have a greater need than you can possibly fathom. You scoff at sales divisions and curse our lucrative pay incentives, commission, and bonus plans. You have the luxury of not knowing what we know: that while the cost of sales is excessive, it drives REVENUE! And my very existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, drives REVENUE! You don't know what the truth is, because deep down in places you don't talk about in staff meetings,you want me on that sales call. You NEED me on that sales call. We use words like discounts, licensing, business development and global purchase agreements. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent negotiating contracts. You use them as a punch line! I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to people who rise and sleep under the very blanket of revenue I provide and then question the manner in  which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you get on an airplane and make sales call. Either way, I don't give damn what you think you are entitled to.

Finance: "Did you expense the lap dances?"

Sales: "I did the job I was hired to do."

Finance: "Did you expense the lap dances?"

Sales: "You're Goddamn right I did”

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