an Office Space state of mind

It's 6:13PM on a blustery Friday evening in Redmond. The lights have been flickering
all day. My building is practically deserted. A couple of developers in the next
hall over debate when Halo 2 will ship. The walls are thin.  I have an opinion
but refuse to take sides. 

At 6:41PM I snap, pound the wall once with my fist, note the silence, and
say, loudly and undiplomatically, "It'll ship when Halo freezes over, you fools!" 
The voices do not return.  I resolve an open bug "won't fix" with a single
click, rise from my desk and walk down the hall to get a cup of coffee. I hear
an elevator door close in the distance. Silence. I return to my desk to do one last
thing: run a query for documentation bugs that have been assigned to me since Wednesday.

Bug VSW1000392730 appears.  "That's funny," I remark.

Issue type: Doc Bug
Opened on: 7/19/2002

Hmmm, assigned to product support, MSDN (zzzzzzz), VSS feature team... I skip to Issue:
VSS's Share function does not permit a comment.
I jump to Description: help
topic for vss share command (command line) includes reference to a -C switch.

'No it doesn't,' I think indignantly.  I fire up a command shell and type, "ss
share ?", perform a ctrl+f in the help topic for "-c", and come up empty. Nada.

At 6:44PM, feeling quite satisfied with myself, I select Issue Resolution: Not
and give the bug a quick once over for any related bugs or gotchas--there's
always a gotcha. 

That's when I see it, like a diamond half-submerged in sand on a beach:

Opened by: Michael Bolton (customer)

Michael Bolton!  Like the developer in Office Space, Michael Bolton? I
must be dreaming.  But I'm not dreaming.  I'm resolving a bug that was opened
by Michael Bolton, a developer named Michael Bolton. 

It's Friday, it's 7:13PM,  it's dark, the wind is blowing, my cats are still outside,
my test machine futilely scratches for RAM, and you know what, that's it.  I've
got my whole life ahead of me.

I think I'll sleep in tomorrow.  In fact, I think I'll sleep until noon. 
No, I'll sleep until 1:00PM or whenever I wake up and then... then I'll have French
toast.  And if I feel like it, I just might go fishing or read a book that
has nothing to do with programming, or take a nap, or something.  If you don't
hear from me for a few days, don't worry.  I love my job and I love my life. 
I'll be back.  I'm just in an Office Space state of mind.  Thanks Michael.

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Comments (7)

  1. LauraJ says:

    Hey Kolby, so why MSND (zzzzzz)? Inquiring minds want to know.

  2. Korby, swing by my office sometime for coffee. I’ve got the good stuff.

  3. Hi Laura, that was an unfinished thought. Zzzzz is my shorthand for bug hibernation. This particular doc bug hibernated for the winter in an MSDN database for some reason. I now receive all documentation bugs, or notice of such, immediately and directly which, as the guy in the .NET commercial says, "is flyyy" because I can now respond to customer suggestions/questions in a matter of days, if I want.

  4. Hey Andrew, I’ll drop by soon. Cya, Korby

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