Finally, The Post No One Expected: The Top 9 OOF Messages!


To celebrate my 200th post on this blog… here is the post no one thought could (ok, would) be written!  My Top 9 Favorite Out of Office messages from Brian Prince.

brianprinceWho is Brian Prince?  Brian is a colleague of mine at Microsoft, and an outstanding Architect Evangelist who is personally and professional dedicated to helping the people who make up the software developer ecosystem grow and get better at what they do. 

If you’ve ever emailed Brian while he has been out of the office, you will recognize these as museum quality reproductions of his actual out of office messages.  For posterity, they are presented here in complete fidelity to the original messages with the only exception being that I’ve removed the individual email addresses of co-workers so that spammers will not target them. 

BTW, Thanks to the wonderful searching, filtering, and sorting features of Outlook 2010, compiling this list did not waste nearly as much valuable time as you are probably thinking.   

Without further ado:

Ninth

I am OOF yet again. What is OOF you say? Well it is an old part of Microsoft culture (and a cornerstone of our own internal secret language) that dates back many many years. It means 'out of facility', or out of office.

I will will be OOF until 4/12. I am travelling around visiting customers in Nashville. Then I drive six hours home to get clothes and see the family for an hour, and then I drive six more hours in the opposite direction to KalamazooX conference in Kalamazoo, MI. It is a great conference, and I can't wait to go. I will be speaking on how the community is a giant pile of horse crap. Intriqued? Come on up! http://kalamazoox.org/

Please leave an email at the end of the beep and I will return it as soon as possible.

 

Eighth

On the road again, travelling around Nashville, Cincinnati, and Louisville. I will be home on 5/25/2008. I will be periodically checking email, so hang tight.

Who do you think is the fifth member of the final five on Battlestar Galactica?

-bhp

Seventh

I am out wandering around Tennessee right now. I will be visiting customers, and holding ArcReady events this week. I should be able to check my email (in between rounds of Call of Duty 4, you see I finished Civ and Orange Box, and the hotel I am staying at has a 42" plasma screen with an HDMI port.)

If it is an emergency, please call 911. Otherwise, try one of my fabulous team members: Bill Steele, Jennifer Marsman, and Jeff Blankenburg. If you are just plain bored, and looking for something to do, pleaes read my blog at www.brianHprince.com. And if you are a Nigerian Scammer, please be aware that I am not allowed to funnel money out of foreign countries based on company policy.

For those keeping score, I did finally get a Halo3 ringtone for my phone, but what I really want is a classic Mario ringtone.

Sixth

I am not able to effectively or immediately respond to your email because I will be traversing both Tennessee and Indiana this week. Of course Ohio will be involved, since I don't have any other way to get to Indiana from Tennessee, but not stops of a business nature will take place in Ohio. I will be speaking on the wonders of Entity Framework, the magic of frameworks in general, and how to move into the 21st century with Windows Azure.

I will momentarily return this Friday, the 11th, and will attempt to respond to your messages at that point.

Feel free to pawn your request of on one of my fabulous team members: Matt Hester, Jennifer Marsman, and Jeff Blankenburg.

If you are just plain bored, and looking for something to do, please read my blog at www.brianHprince.com.

Fifth

Howdy! Thanks for your free email.

I will be away from my office for an extended period of time. I will be spending the first week in Redmond on campus for the MVP summit, and I will be spending the second week touring Nashville, Chattanooga, and Knoxville.

Please know that I will respond to your email as soon as I can, but that there will be a delay in doing so. It is with great regret that I let this happen, but it is hard to stay up on the inbox while on the road.

I love going to the summit and spending a lot of time catching up with all of the MVPs I have known over the years. Its like summer camp, but in the winter, in Seattle, without tents, campfires, or adult supervision. So maybe not so much like summer camp. But it is a lot of fun.

In the meantime, check out my new book coming out "Azure in Action" at http://www.manning.com/hay. You can also check out why I will be in Nashville at www.azurebootcamp.com, a great training series for Azure.

Have you considered the cloud, and what it might help your company do?

Feel free to pawn your request of on one of my fabulous team members: Matt Hester, Jennifer Marsman, and Jeff Blankenburg.

If you are just plain bored, and looking for something to do, please read my blog at www.brianHprince.com, or check out the Driving Your Career series on microsoft.com/thrivedev.

Fourth

Howdy, thanks for sending me an email (unless you are a spammer, then in that case you should bugger off). I will return your mail once I get back, or sooner if it is something that is urgent.

I will first be at Penguicon, in Romulus, MI. I had know idea there was a Romulus, MI, that is so cool. The conference is part scifi and part open source. I know, it writes it's own jokes.

Then I will be on the TechEd Bus travelling across the midwest. I hear that David Copperfield just used the bus, and that we are likely to find left over pigeons and sawed-in-half ladys. Of course I am not attending TechEd, just driving half way there. We will be making stops along the way, and it sounds like it will be a lot of fun.

Then I will be speaking at a great event our team is putting on, StirTrek. Basically a day of MIX material, with a private showing of the new Star Trek movie. AWESOME! Get your ticket at www.stirtrek.com.

If you are bored, check out the online coverage of MIX at http://www.visitmix.com.

If it is important, please text me.

Feel free to pawn your request of on one of my fabulous team members: Bill Steele, Jennifer Marsman, and Jeff Blankenburg.

If you are just plain bored, and looking for something to do, please read my blog at www.brianHprince.com.

Third

Howdy, thanks for sending me an email (unless you are a spammer, then in that case you should bugger off).

I am at the awesome CodeMash conference, and will be unable to immediately respond to your email. I am so tired, that I can't even come up with a witty OOF message for you. Pleae look around the Internet for something to entertain you, if you need that.

Feel free to pawn your request of on one of my fabulous team members: Bill Steele, Jennifer Marsman, and Jeff Blankenburg.

If you are just plain bored, and looking for something to do, please read my blog at www.brianHprince.com.

Second

I am on vacation right now, at the fabulous Disney World. The Contemporary Resort is wonderful, and even has a computer in the room (running Windows!). I have already been banned from even going near it. Until I get back, please occupy yourself by figuring out a way to change the world, and I am sure I will notice what you have done when I return.

If that doesn't hold your attention, feel free to contact one of my fabulous team members: Bill Steele, Jennifer Marsman, and Jeff Blankenburg.  If you are just plain bored, and looking for something to do, pleaes read my blog at www.brianHprince.com.

I can't wait to get home and start watching the new Star Wars Clone Wars show, and I await the day that Battlestar Galactica returns for it's final episodes.

First Place!

Howdy! Thanks for your free email.

Brian is sad that he missed your email. He is at the super fabulous CodeMash event in a water park in the Winter. Brian will respond to your email as soon as he can, which is likely next week. If you really need to see Brian you can come out to CodeMash if you want. Brian will cry tonight knowing he is not replying to your emails, but Brian will be tired and will need his sleep so he isn't cranky. Brian Loves You.

Feel free to pawn your request of on one of my fabulous team members: Matt Hester, Jennifer Marsman, and Jeff Blankenburg.

If you are just plain bored, and looking for something to do, please read my blog at www.brianHprince.com, or check out the Driving Your Career series on microsoft.com/thrivedev.


Finis

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Comments (7)

  1. Spencer says:

    This was soo funny that i started to laugh then cry then laugh again.  I send out tech tips to the employees and i do similiar jokes but not to the same extent.  No one gets them besides my network admin. hmn…must say something about me my jokes?  Good post.

  2. John Reese says:

    At one of my former employers, the IT staff used a formula whenever they set up an OOF notification.  It usually ended with "if you have any problems, contact the IT department." To shake it up a little bit, I once substituted, "If you have any problems, it may be necessary to abandon your PC in an unpopulated area and flee on foot."  The fact that no one commented on this proves that people don’t read OOF messages.

  3. JohnMullinax says:

    @ John Reese, Ha – good one!

    Of course, this post is evidence that at least someone (me) reads some of them (Brian’s) 🙂

  4. JimGf says:

    It’s fun to see people leave entertaining OOF messages, as well as read them. Sadly not too many people leave entertaing ones 🙁

    I used to say something like: "Jim has been abducted by some aliens. The mothership will return him on <date>."

  5. Ah, so good to see someone who puts care into the nuances of living.  And takes the onerous issue of business travel in a lighthearted manner.  

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