Lessons Learned from Per

I like to learn from everyone around me.  One of my most influential mentors has been my manager, Per.  Here’s a highlight of some of the lessons I learned from Per over the years:


  • Consolidate communication.   Chunky over chatty.  Rather than a random stream of ideas, consolidate down to a theme.  Rather than a bunch of mini-mails, consolidate to a more meaningful message. 
  • Distinguish between phases of communication.  Walt Disney used three stages for ideas: Dreamer, Realist, and Critic.  Dreamer is the vision, Realist is the steps, Critic is the constraints and limits.  In practice, Per encourages first brainstorm, then critique.

Cutting Questions

  • Do you influence or do you own?   Distinguish between when you own the decision versus when you influence.  If you influence, but don’t own, reset your own expectations.  Responsibility without authority is a common pitfall. 
  • Does it matter?   In the grand scheme of things, does this particular issue matter.
  • Five customers under your belt?  If you don’t have five customers you can point to that stand behind what you’re doing, it’s a flag.  As simple as this test sounds, I’ve used it many times to ensure project success.
  • Is it the right thing to do?  First figure out the right thing to do, then figure out what you can do based on the circumstances.
  • Is it working?  If you keep taking the same approach, but it’s not working, you need to change your approach.  It’s simple, but you’d be surprised how many people get stuck.
  • Next steps?   Asking “next steps?” at the end of your meeting is a pretty crisp way of turning talk into action.
    What’s the agreement?  When you’re not sure why things aren’t happening as you expect, check the agreement.  You might find you don’t really have one.
  • What’s the solution?  If you’re spending too much time on the problem, switch by asking, “what’s the solution?”
  • What’s their story?  If you don’t get why another person or team isn’t doing what you want, figure out what their side of the story is.  (see What’s Their Story)
    What’s your gut say?  If you find a decision isn’t sitting right, check your gut.   While the numbers may say one thing, your intuition may be telling you a deeper story.


  • Argue the data.  Rather than argue your opinion, argue the data.  Arguing the data keeps it more objective.  It can also be more convincing.
  • Don’t state the conclusion.  Rather than state your conclusions, show the data that leads to your conclusions.  Even if you know the “right answer,” showing the data can help others get on board.
  • Lead the horse to water.   Let them connect the dots.  You can draw a dotted line, but let your audience connect the dots. 
    Mental Judo.  This is Per’s phrase for Ward Cunninham’s uncanny ability to lead people to a conclusion through rhetoric and stories.
  • Set the frame.   Frame the problem or solution so that you have a common backdrop to share understanding.  This will help set boundaries, create agreements, and improve communication.
  • They’re not engaged.  If you notice a lack of engagement throughout your meeting, there’s a good chance that you don’t have rapport.  If you don’t have rapport, you won’t effectively influence.
  • They’re not on board.  You should be able to tell whether somebody is on board.  If they aren’t, then don’t kid yourself.
    You didn’t agree on values.  Recognize when you don’t have the same values.  Do they value time or do they value a level of results?  If you don’t share the values, you can expect problems in agreements, prioritization, expectations, and results.
  • You didn’t have buy in.  Just because somebody shakes their head yes, doesn’t mean they are bought in.  You don’t want somebody to tell you yes, just to drag their feet.

Organizational Prowess

  • Call it an experiment.  In a risk adverse environment, it can help to call a project an experiment.  It’s a simple but effective metaphor to help people think about trying something new.
  • Do you influence or do you own?  If you don’t own the decision, you don’t own it.  Period.  You can attempt to influence, but at the end of the day, you’re not the owner.   That doesn’t mean don’t try your best.  Just don’t be surprised if it’s not the decision you wanted and don’t take it personally.
  • Expose the approach.   People may not agree on the implementation or the results, but sharing the approach is a good place to start.  Exposing the approach gives you a chance to improve the approach.  Exposing the approach can also build trust, particularly if everybody buys in.
  • Expose the thinking.  This is similar to showing your homework.  If you expose the thinking, then you can improve the thinking.  You can also help build trust.  You may not get to the right answer, but showing how you got there helps bring people along with you.
  • Get consensus.  Where possible and time permits, get folks on board.  If there’s resistance, this can be a flag that you’re off in the wrong direction.  If it’s a decision where you need everybody’s skin in the game, then you’ll want them on board helping push the ball forward versus dragging their feet.
  • Get smart folks on the bus.  This is just a general belief that if you have smart people around, the right things will happen.  It’s about people over process.
  • Slides are a forcing function.    Slides are a great way to get folks on the same page, or at least start the dialogue.  If you can’t show your ideas in a slide, then you don’t have a well-formed message for others.  Doing slides helps create a strawman of the thoughts that can be reviewed and improved.  Slides can help turn thoughts into action.


  • Change your approach.  If it’s not working; change your approach.
  • Change yourself first.  You can change yourself faster than you can change others.  Seriously.
  • Chunk it down.   If you can’t release something in a healthy rhythm, chunk it down.
  • Divide and Conquer.  If you have an overwhelming challenge, divide and conquer.(See Divide and Conquer - One Step at a Time)
  • Drive or Be Driven.  If you don’t drive it, you’ll be driven by somebody else.
    Get it out and get feedback.  Good ideas often die because there’s no action or momentum.  If you get something out, you can get feedback and start to improve it.
  • Give attribution.  In our industry, acknowledgement is important.  Be sure to give attribution where it’s due.
  • Focus.   If there’s one place where projects fail or people fail, it’s a lack of focus.  Focus is your friend.  If you’re not getting results, narrow the focus. 
  • Follow your passion.  Where there’s passion, there’s strength.
  • Forcing functions.  Use meetings, slides, and reviews as forcing functions to drive results.
  • Model the best.   This is Per’s phrase for my approach of finding the best people and modeling their success. 
  • Play to your strengths.  Per’s a fan of the book, Good to Great, and he believes in focusing on your strengths rather than your weaknesses.
  • Rattle the cage.  Challenge the thinking.  Challenge ideas.  Challenge yourself.  Don’t fall into the trap of the status quo.
  • Ship it!  This is one of Per’s favorite sayings which characterizes the emphasis on getting results and making impact.   He’s learned that a rhythm of shipping produces results while failure to ship is how teams fail at Microsoft. 

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Comments (9)

  1. orcmid says:

    I need to apply this.  Thanks.

  2. In the countless years I had the opportunity to work for/with Per and learn from him, I also always saw an uncanny ability to put himself to the same harsh tests he put others to, and be honest with himself when things weren’t quite as good. Every time he went skiing – and Per trains with olympic-grade skiers – he came back telling us about how he strived for a couple of falls a day – if you aren’t falling you aren’t pushing yourself hard enough. In a sense, one of his most empowering phrases is ‘so whats stopping you?’ and making folks realize one is oneself’s most common limiting factor.

  3. Miles says:

    Great post J.D.  May I ask a favour, please can you give me a brief definition of ‘strawman’ ?  My enterprise architect uses it all the time and I’m not sure he or I know the true meaning of the term.


  4. J.D. Meier says:

    Ed – great points … hold yourself to a higher bar, and we’re often our own limiter.

  5. J.D. Meier says:

    Thanks Miles.  I think of a strawman as a draft proposal or rough sketch of an idea that you can use for analysis and debate.  I’m not sure, but I think it comes from using strawmen for combat training.

  6. Per says:

    Thanks for summarizing JD!

    Many of these sayings are created while working with worldclass people, some of the sayings might even quotes. I am always amazed at and humbled by what smart/dedicated people can make happen.

    One of my interview questions are: what are you passionate about, because you want to have a sense of purpose. In our case we wanted to make it easier for customers to use Microsoft software to solve specifc challenges.

    Another key consideration is to be flexible and learn in the small and in the large. Look for the patterns in your behavior and the responses or lack there of.

    An interesting question is how do you take a team culture and influence the larger context? I recall one attempt to do that in MS.

    How do you appreciate the change of cultural values over time?

  7. Don says:

    This is really a great post J.D. Not only are there a ton of helpful thoughts and ideas, it really does a great job of capturing Per and a lot of what he believes in and encourages in others.

  8. Franco Ceruti says:

    Thanks JD for putting all this together.

    This is an absolutely great post.

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