HandSolo Mobile - the ultimate mobile device?

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When I read the specs for this device I thought this was my ultimate device...

The HandSolo is the first ultra-portable handheld device designed to streamline the way you use mobile technology. It comes complete with advanced mobile features such as an optical camera, unlimited expandable memory storage, and 24 hour battery life.

  • No device required
  • Intuitive speech recognition
  • Voice-activated dialing. Optional: Thought-activated dialing
  • Integrated speakerphone with “YourVoice” volume control
  • “High-five” call transfer
  • Turn-by-turn navigation capability (pointer finger required)
  • Voice recording and playback (thumb & pinky-activated)
  • Human memory polyphonic ring tones with hand vibrate alert
  • Human optic-powered 2 mega-pixel camera
  • Air-text messaging enabled
  • Alarm clock with adjustable wake-up intensities from slight finger prodding to intense face slapping
  • Drunk Dialing Deterrent triggered once .08 blood alcohol level is achieved
  • Portable music player with embedded thumb-speakers
  • Waterproof
  • Dimensions: four fingers and a thumb
  • Weight: feels like nothing
  • Talk Time: until you shut up
  • Memory: lasts as long as you do
  • Battery: based on your health and family DNA

Of course it's a joke... but it did make me smile :)