The point at which we all get fed up with "following my heart" becoming the excuse of the new millenium


Argghhh, I have been proud of the fact that I have not recently spent time documenting my reaction to reality TV here. But now I can’t help it because I am POed. Yeah, reality TV made me feel something other than superior. Oh, don’t act so surprised. It’s why we all watch it in the first place. I am just being honest.


Did you watch The Bachelor, and more importantly “After the Final Rose” last night? Where “nice guy” Jason Mesnick pulls out the a/h card? Let me preface this rant by explaining that this is exactly the type of guy I date. “Jason Mesnick” is the answer to why I am still single. The narcissist inside with a crunchy coating of “nice guy” on the outside. Ew.


For those that haven’t watched the show, this guy dated a bunch of girls, and when he got down to 2, he had to pick one. Much crying and face-making ensued. For the cameras. OK, maybe this isn’t the type of guy I date. Anyhoo, he had 2 great gals to pick from. And he does…pick one, I mean. And then he gets to the after show, 6 weeks later, and tells her that the “chemistry changed”. On TV. They didn’t have a studio audience because it was the most shocking evar! Evar! You hear me? So never you mind about the millions of people watching this. At least they didn’t have a studio audience.


When he totally could have totally broken up with her before the show, he waits to do it on TV. And he says that he has to follow his heart. And his heart tells him to wait 2 commercial breaks and then pick up where things left off with the other babe. Look, I get breaking up with someone because you just aren’t feeling it anymore. Oh, do I so get that part. But to do it on national TV and then jump into the arms of another gal. What a jerk.


Anyway, there’s a broader rant here.That was just the lead-up. Because I think I have nailed what is going on here. The 80s were the “me generation”. And I think we had a cooling of period in the 90s.  Now there’s a new archetype: where we think about the greater good, the environment, etcetera. The problem is that some of the people that were raised in the “me generation” didn’t shake it off so easy. It became part of them. Then we get to the current times where it’s really uncool to so obviously be a self-involved jerk. There’s some dueling elements to our psyches. Do I want to be a jerk or do I want to do good? The answer is yes. Kind of. Some people will use their new millenium talking points to justify their bad behavior; they get the best of both worlds. I am talking to you, Jason Mesnick. Do I have a problem with him breaking up with Melissa because he’s not feeling the love? No. But to do it on TV in such a manner and then call it “following my heart”? Dude, we are totally on to you. Call it what you want to call it, but you are still self-involved. Gee, I think I am going to start to act like a total a/h and call it “following my heart”. And nobody gets to call me on it. Because I am just “following my heart”. You have to be true to yourself and just “follow your heart”. You know, in the most hurtful way on national TV. I’ll just call it “following my heart.”


He’s not even that cute. His kid is going to need a ton of therapy. And I am totally grossed out that “reality TV” made me feel something.


Comments (17)

  1. Wine-oh says:

    On behalf of men, I am embarrassed to be in the same age bracket with this guy. He already has a marriage under his belt. We dont know what went wrong there. Not our business. But to go on national tv and hurt someone the way he did, is cruel. He would have been better off just ending it with the first girl and leave it at that. Then if he was interested in girl #2, do it off the air and quietly. Odds are against him that a relationship with girl #2 will last. He kept saying in interviews how hes engaged and how the girl is moving to Seattle to be with him. I think his actions were also way confusing for his son. How can you introduce a kid into the mix?  Jason should just go away for a while. He let us all down.

    Disclaimer: I hate shows like this and only watched this last episode to be in the know. I also watched on Tivo and skipped alot of it.

  2. Kinsey says:

    It’s much more acceptable when you’re 22…

    And I get the TV part.  I was watching that and thinking, OMG, what an a/h!  No way that guy gets taken seriously by another girl in his life, let alone that Molly (who seemed so "with it")… but no, she’ll take him back, regardless.  

    You girls…

  3. HeatherLeigh says:

    Wine-Oh….it gets worse: http://realitysteve.com/blog/?p=125

    Kinsey….22? How convenient! 🙂 Aren’t you glad you are married and totally past this kind of stuff? It’s hard out here for a pimp.

  4. Wine-oh says:

    Im very suspicious of how everything played out. You could tell from Melissa’s body language that something was up when she walked out on stage. Chris Harrison also asked Molly questions like "would you take him back if you could…" like she already knew something from her reaction to that question. I think there was some serious damage control going on and the situation is far more serious than we are led to believe. It will be interesting to see how these people come off on Ellen later this week. I also think it will lead to an overhaul of how the show is done and language put into these contracts. Call me a skeptic but I dont think it will work with Molly. To quote Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost "Molly, you in danger girl!…"

    This is all done to create ratings and increase viewership. ABC is guilty of that. Jason is guilty of treating people like doggy doo, but I dont think he acted alone. I think there was some behind the scenes stuff going on. Only time will tell.

  5. HeatherLeigh says:

    Yeah, totally agreed. I thikn it was precipitated at the whim of the production staff.

  6. Kinsey says:

    What’s wrong with this world when you can’t trust the "reality" in Reality TV?!

  7. HeatherLeigh says:

    I know, right? Girlfriend should have kept the ring. She earned it.

  8. B says:

    just as an FYI to those who want to know

    He went to Lake Washington High School in kirkland – graduated in 94

    He worked at ATT Wireless for a stint as a recruiter – flamed out

    I have been saying all along that this guy isnt all that he was protrayed to be based of off experience.. glad I was proven right.. the guy is a turd, and he has always been a turd…

  9. David K says:

    Heather, your commentary was excellent! I will confess, I watched the last episode, but none leading up to it. If you find yourself still in need of a reality tv fix, don’t forget about "The Real Housewives of NYC" on Bravo!

  10. HeatherLeigh says:

    B – OMG. You almost make me feel sorry for him. I know he worked at Microsoft in a contract role about ten years ago. Don’t know much more than that. I really feel like he was picked because he’s "cute" and so is his kid. ANd people felt sorry for him after DeAnna.  Not sure I am buying the nice guy thing though.  A nice guy wouldn’t do what he did. A classy guy wouldn’t do what he did. Interesting how they fille the audience ;ast night with people that would be sympathetic to him. I wonder how much they screened the audience ahead of time.

    David K – I just started watching that show. Those ladies are crazytown.

  11. some1'saunt says:

    Ok now I don’t feel so bad about watching  Real HW of NYC if you watch too!  The husband puts on such a performance when I am watching that I have to watch it in the bedroom with the volume turned way, way down!  It’s a train wreck but I really can’t look away!

  12. Ben says:

    The only comment is why in the world would Molly take him back… what a prick!

    I’ve only watched a couple of times but somehow turned in to see this. Last time I’ll ever see it. If the ratings go up, it’ll just prove how morbid we all are. That was a sad, sad, sad moment for tv even if it was reality tv.

    The bachelor even went on Jimmy Kimmel and said he thought him and Molly would some day be friends…. how self indulgent.

    Here’s the youtube link to his interview:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URu9O2uuLSI

  13. Hayli says:

    Yeah that was totally rigged and both girls probably got some cash and maybe even a tv show/book deal down the road. Anyway, I didn’t watch it but I do watch American Idol so I’m not hatin’.

  14. Kerry says:

    I watched this season and was shocked at the end when Jason dumped Melissa on national television – how cruel. And then turned around and "got back together" with Molly. Where is her pride? I think Melissa got the last laugh though (…and here’s where my reality tv addiction is going to reveal itself…) when she was chosen for Dancing with the Stars which started last night.  For the record – I don’t normally watch Dancing with the Stars but I wanted to see Steve Wozniak dance.  I do however love to watch the Real Housewives… sad, but true!

  15. HeatherLeigh says:

    Auntie – Ph, the a"Real" Housewives NYC. Train wreck! I agree. Clearly the hubby is missing the point. If that annoys him, I have to wonder what he thinks about the rest of the family! Wait…I don’t want to know.

    Ben – he is living in his own dream world where all of the things he wants to have happen somehow don’t seem like he’s a selfish jerk. I don’t htikn he’s too smart.

    Hayli – I just can’t bring myself to watch AI. BUt I suspect that most of us have a bit of a reality addiction, we just like different flavors.

    Kerry – Melissa was chosen for Dancing with the Stars? How did I not know that? She dodged a bullt with that creep no doubt. I thikn it will turn out that Molly is the unlucky one. But I guess I made mistakes when I was right out of college too. I have to remind myself how young she and Melissa are. As for Jason, no excuse.

  16. Bad_Brad says:

    Heather – you are just pointing out what I’ve been acutely aware of for some time now.  We are in an age of moral relativism, and have been for at least a couple decades.  It’s pretty much accepted that you can do whatever you want to do if it feels good, or as this d-bag would put it, if you are "following your heart".  The net result – never in American history have personal responsibility, personal accountability, honesty, and just plain old class been downgraded as much as we have downgraded them today.  This guy is just a symptom of that.

  17. HeatherLeigh says:

    Yeah, and look where it got us.