Reader participation: Favorite punchline

Ever been talking to someone and a magnificent joke pops into their head? They totally have the punchline down. But then they mangle the joke, or forget it, or give up, or the worst....they rewind partway through the telling? You know what I am talking about, right? You can see the wheels turning and you can see that moment when they realize that this is not going to end well. A couple of you have seen me do this, I am sorry to say. And then I have to admit that it all sounded so much better in my head. Sigh. This is the case of the clumsy joker.

Or the case of the convertible punchline (which I also totally do) when you only know the punchline. Not sure if there was a joke, if you ever heard it. And you try to find every opportunity to use it (which I tend to think is hilarious because it crosses my mind at the oddest of times). This is all very funny unless your punchline is "winner, winner, chicken dinner" (does that count as a "punchline"? I don't know where it comes from), which annoys the crap out of people at the blackjack table in Vegas. And by people I mean me.

So keep it clean, but what is your favorite punchline? Don't tell your own joke, just the punchline. Maybe the rest of us can have some fun making up our own jokes to go with your punchline. Did I mention to keep it clean? Yeah.

I'll go first. Slow night here at Casa Hamilton.

Comments (14)

  1. HeatherLeigh says:

    I’ll go first, as I have been known to do.

    My favorite punchline is "tastes like chicken". I have no idea where it came from. And it’s especially funny when you are referring to something that you would not EVER consider eating.

    Maybe I shouldn’t admit this, but it has gone through my mind when I see a poster for a "lost bird". I am a horrible, horrible person. And I already apologize to bird owners. I don’t wish anything bad upon your birds. But who got to decide which animals became pets and which were for food? And suddenly, "Roger and Me" is popping into my head: "for pets or food". So I blame Michael Moore for this thought even crossing my mind.

  2. I remember laughing at this long-winded joke, with the bad punch line:

    PUNCH LINE: Because you can’t see the "Florists Through the Trees"

    I have no clue what the joke was . . . but the punch-line I’ve never forgotten! (^_^)

    Blake Handler

    Microsoft MVP

    "The Road to Know Where"

  3. skip bieber says:

    Um… So many and such a snall box :).  But the clean and/or not off-colored first ones that popped into my head  

    … Frosted flakes

    … 5-5 2-2

    I always the pun of tasted like chicken was from endless convention dinners (and some weddings)  where you wonder what’s that on plate that just got placed of you – besides sos ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. HeatherLeigh says:

    Blake, I can’t even think of a joke involving florists ๐Ÿ™‚

    skip – I always thought it was how other meats were described, exotic ones; where they are trying to get you to eat it. The pun I always thought went with convention dinners was "rubber chicken". I could be wrong, but that’s what I call it.

  5. Kris says:

    Used all too often: "Twenty-two, twenty-three… whatever it takes."

  6. Keith Patrick says:

    I’ll go with one I always want to blurt out, but it’s very difficult to tell it and have the opportunity to explain it (it comes from Mr. Show w/ Bob and David): "We’ve got a saying around here – ‘Get used to it, Hitler.’"

    My other favorite punchline is the clean (by itself) answer to a very offensive joke, so I won’t even bother telling that one. Most of my jokes are offensively dirty, anway…

    BTW: AFAIK, the "chicken dinner" line came from "21" – the movie about MIT-playing card sharks. I dunno if the movie took the saying from some place lamer, but that’s the only place I’ve heard that line.

  7. RB says:

    While you were up there, we were down here enjoying hot buttered corn.

  8. HeatherLeigh says:

    Kris – used all to often and I have never heard it. My friends need to worj on their joke-telling skills (and me too).

    Keith Patrick – Aha! I bet that is it. I have the book so I have not seen the movie yet. You’d be surprised how many movies I haven’t seen because I have not yet read the book. Anyway, when I was last in Vegas, this young (in his twenties so not so much young as younger than me) said it on every hand. Like loud so everyone could admire how hilarious he is. Or maybe how great his rhyming skills. And I have to admit that I told him to quit saying it. It was painful. And incredibly annoying. But I used my nice words to tell him. At least the first time ๐Ÿ˜‰

    RB – OK, this is difficult coming up with the joke. I don’t know any of these! My guess on your is that someone in the joke went up a mountain or to heaven with hig expectations but experienced something less anjoyable than the said corn. My future as a comedy writer is bleak.

  9. โ€œNo, no, itโ€™s just ice cream.โ€œ

  10. RB says:

    Ok, I admit, my joke was a bit off color ๐Ÿ™‚ Hope you laughed anyway.

  11. Phil Weber says:

    I want to post the actual jokes!

    Anyway, I like this punchline: "So I just…switched the heads."

  12. HeatherLeigh says:

    Phil – I think as RB just demonstrated (though I still don’t get it), I can’t trust you guys with the jokes, just the punchlines ๐Ÿ™‚

    Though I have to say, that some of the punchlines are so ridiculous, they are funny withouth the jokes.

  13. Keith Patrick says:

    Punchline story: I was in a meeting with my boss and a client, and the client asked a question to which my boss answered "Because it’s your night in the bucket" (Leisure Suit Larry fans should know the joke). Knowing the joke, I busted out laughing, while the client had no idea what was so funny, leading her to ask "why is that funny". The beauty of it is he had a completely innocuous joke at the ready without hesitation (even though the client didn’t know why I found it *that* funny).

    I actually do that with my aforementioned offensive joke. I refer to it as the "<jobtitle> Joke" before telling it, so if someone who would be offended (i.e. they have kids or had a rough childhood) asks what the joke is, I do something similar. Although in my case, the "innocuous" joke isn’t completely clean, and it’s one of those where 1/2 the joke is making it as long as possible.

  14. Marc says:

    New to the blog, loving every bit of it. When I hear "Tastes of chicken" I can only think of Eddie Izzard in Dressed to Kill.

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