I feel a rush of snark to the brain. You can only hold the snark down for so long and then something has to pop. Right now? It’s some of the asshattery that is taking place on facebook. And I fully expect to update this post regularly, if you know what I mean. Seems that that asshattery is a renewable resource. Leonardo DiCaprio wants to use it to power his car.
Complaint 1: Twitter! You have got to be kidding me! I know some perfectly nice and otherwise smart people that have their twitter feeds show up on their facebook page. 34% tell you what the person is having for a meal, 23% tell you about where they are traveling or what airport gate they are at. 100% are mundane/boring/totally unnecessary. There have to be some twitter consumers that actually care. But this is my blog and I don’t. I’m really having a hard time with the self-importance of the Twitterer. I count many Twitterers among my facebook friends. And I still love you all, I swear, as much as I ever did. But you are clogging up my feed stream, I don’t care what you are eating and hows about you just post the important stuff as a note on your facebok page? Nobody needs to know your state of mind every 15 minutes. (Holy cow do I feel better after getting that out! Whee!)
Complaint 2: The dating stalkers. I suppose that you can use facebook for whatever the heck you want. But when a person has listed that they are there for friendship and networking, it means that they are not interested on the face of some person they have never met before trying to strike up an instant romance. OK, OK, my mistake for accepting people as friends that I don’t actually know. Sue me, I’m a recruiter. i just assume that I can help people network and find jobs. But to those of you, (and let’s be real, I’m talking about the mens) who become facebook friends with women and try to strike up a love-thang with those that are clearly not interested? Well, I have got a little hint for you: it’s creepy. Cease and desist. Don’t friend us, we’ll friend you. And you are going to be waiting for a while. You have a better chance of growing a girlfriend in a test-tube. And the un-friending me after I say no? Well all I have to say about that is “thanks!”. (Phew, OK that one felt pretty awesome too.)
Complaint 3: Why you gotta invite me to be your friend when you have nothing filled out on your profile? Am I to be so enchanted by your name and invitation that I should immediately want to join a coalition of you and your 3 friends that I have also never heard of? Look, I don’t know you. There’s obviously something I can help you with. So give me something to work with. A little content perhaps? How about a note explaining why you have invited me to a page that is essentially blank? Wrap your brain around the concept of value proposition. Nobody gets awards for having the highest number of facebook friends. What’s in it for me? Should I accept you as a friend so you can fill your page with a bunch of weird stuff later and then my friends are all “What is up with that weird facebook friend that collects clown dolls? Huh, Heather?”. Yeah, don’t do this to me. My answer to that is “ignore” and I say it out loud and gleefully as I click the button in facebook.
OK, that’s it for now, friends (not the facebook kind…the real kind on my blog…cue rimshot)…ahhh, you know I love you. And you all know how good a purge can feel. Not angry, just wanted to deposit the rant here and be done with it. And now I am on to happy thoughts about running through fields of flowers with a puppy chasing me.
Oh, and do share if you have some facebok angst of your own to share.