Absence makes the heart grow slightly less annoyed

Last week, I saw the first advertisement for the dueling Apprentae masters: Trump and Martha (hmm, Trump's site isn't up but Martha's is!). Somehow, the sight of his cotton candy head makes me stop my Tivo. Darn you, Trump! Two plastic-looking business titans banter some scripted junk about their upcoming carnivals aimed at detroying the self-esteem of the over-valued yet highly comical (can you be brilliant and totally clueless at the same time? Well, yes you can!) and also aimed at destroying any self-respect I have left <insert that sound effect from the Price is Right when you "go over" here>. How uncomfortable was the advertisement? Pretty bad. But...the wonderful thing? I feel a totally renewed sense of snark coming on. It's as energizing as a deep fried turkey set on an elaborately decorated table with hand-penned name cards and glowing golden lanterns hanging from the trees during a warm Connecticut fall. Know what I'm saying?

So here is the deal this year. Just like Ivana, I have had enough of the Donald (Thursdays at 9 on NBC by the way...knock yourself out)! So this time around, I am going to cover Martha (Wednesdays at 8, NBC). Let me just preface the season by telling you that I subscribed to Martha Stewart Living from approximately 1997 to 2003. At some point, I realized that there was no way that I was ever going to do a tiny fraction of that stuff she has in there (sorry, my candy dish will forever be doily-less). And I didn't really care to feel inadequate compared to all the Martha clones that actually make their own socks and butter and stuff (sorry, who are these people?). I am so over it...wait, no I am not. I want to mess up her perfect house and her hair. But I do still enjoy the spectacle of Martha in all her "I am concentrating on my salad" glory. I'm also intrigued by the work done by her publicist. Simply brilliant (you hear that Tom Cruise...call Martha's publicist right away!). All that terse stiffness had to come from somewhere (guesses anyone?). Juxtapose that with the poncho wearing muppet that we now know. I think we may be in for an interesting season. I want to like her, I want to hate her. I really want to see her scold someone! Whee!

Anyway, Chris Woodruff, one of my regulars here (OK if I call you that, Chris?), is going to recap the Donald show and we can cross-link (everyone say welcome Chris!). Chris asked if I would mind of he took a stab at it and I said "Bring the snark! Bring it!"

Hmm, college football is just about to start as well...going to be a busy fall!

PS: for those that are new here...yes, I make up words...and yes, I spell them like that on purpose. It's the price you pay for not having to watch the show yourselves, kids. ; ) You can thank me later!

Comments (9)

  1. Heather — I am OK with being called a regular. 🙂

    Excited about the new season of Apprentice. I do hope Trump brought the writers into the boardroom and discussed having some original ideas.

    I will try to keep up with you Heather. Your quick wit and dissection are high bars to get reach. I think I can try to bring a fresh perception to the discussions.

  2. I will try to bring a fresh view to the discussions.

    Sorry all… really early in the morning is not the time to write blog comments. Trust me I will not write The Donald episode recaps at 5:00 AM. 🙂

  3. Brad says:

    Looking forward – in a guilty pleasure sorta way – to the upcoming Apprentices and the recapping here.

    BTW, where did Tom Cruise go? Did he completely flame out. You know that his sister is his publicist. No experience before Tommy apparently. And it shows.

  4. Mike Clark says:

    <em>I want to like her, I want to hate her. I really want to see her scold someone! Whee!</em>

    <p>I want her to JUST GO AWAY. There is nothing so completely uninteresting as Martha Stewart and Donald (and Ivana) Trump. Who cares? Certainly not me — much more interesting is how to use Generics in C#, which is something I still haven’t quite come to grips with.</p>

  5. HeatherLeigh says:

    Chris-look forward to your recaps!

    Brad-I think they fired his sister. Someone probably told him to simmer down.

    Mike-I’ll be sure not to come on your blog and tell you how uninteresting code is to me then. To each his/her own. Let us have our fun though. If you don’t find the blog posts interesting, by all means, don’t read it!

  6. Nishi says:

    Definitely looking forward to watching the new season of Apprentice, and Martha’s upcoming show, what has Donald and Martha install for us. Let’s wait and find out. I like your blog Heather as well as the material you present the audience with I would be checking in on your blog from time to time on the latest developments in the Martha Stewarts show. Best of Luck.

  7. Tim says:

    I don’t watch the show, but I thought this was a funny pass along from my buddy Lauren about the <a href="

    http://www.duhmarketing.com/award_index.html">meatball pizza</a>and Domino’s Pizza – it’s near the bottom receiving a "Duh Marketing Award".

    Thought the Marketer in you might enjoy.

  8. Patblue says:

    Go Martha!

  9. Last night, Martha terminated her first candidate’s interviews with the phrase, " You just don’t fit in ." Oh, Martha. Please tell me that’s not your catch phrase?! While I anxiously await Heather’s review of the show , I want to chime with my own advice

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