Danny and guitar. He likes Verna. He likes to save people…he’s too compassionate for his own good (hey, don’t blast me yet…you’ll see). He tries to pull together a “support group” for Verna which pretty much ticks off everyone. Verna decides she’s out of there. If it’s isn’t going to work for you the best thing you can do is go. Erin baby talks and that really bugs me…I’ll eat my hat if she makes it into the final 4.
Bren says you “have to have a burning desire to be here”..he’s right. Or else you have an acid reflux problem and you should definitely not book a performance on Saturday Night Live. But if all else fails, do a jig.
Trump Square and Nestle’/Nescafe/Taster’s Choice. Yowza..the product placement here is making my head spin and who drinks that stuff anyway? It is freeze dried coffee. They take something that is mostly water and then FREEZE DRY it. That can’t be good. Hmm, maybe that is the point. The teams are asked to create a PR campaign. Aha! This one is about promotion and product awareness (and interestingly, the company just got sued by the guy whose face is in the Taster’s Choice label, but otherwise, I have not heard the words “Taster’s Choice” pass the lips of anyone since 1978). I would have asked Trump if they have the option of naming it Emergency Coffee or Camping Trip Coffee…Coffee Sand for people who don’t like water (kind of like pop rocks but not poppy). Am I turning into a Seattle coffee snob? Is it just me? Trump says Nescafe is “really good”…jeesh! Please, tell me if you know someone who drinks this kind of coffee…I need to know.
Magna project manager…Danny, the singing promotion guy (hey, he might actually drink freeze dried coffee so there could be some logic there). Michael starts his crazy talk with “Everybody loves a European supermodel”…say what? To fill up prime time TV time, we see lots of shots of Michael doing nothing except starting fights. I’m sorry, but I saw this coming. Michael…lazy…blah,blah, blah.
Over at Net Worth, Chris explains that screaming stuff is a great promotion tactic and we’ll get to see him do this later (even the guy in the foam coffee cup looked annoyed). Angie, project manager for Net Worth, comes up with the All American theme. If by All American she means nobody in any other country would drink freeze dried coffee, I predict a winner. I truly didn’t see the connection, but it won’t end up mattering that much because Magna comes up with nada. And to make matters worse, they outsource nada to an event management company…and none to quickly or cheaply.
Danny can’t make a decision and now I am starting to understand the wardrobe a little bit more. Danny’s a nice guy, a decent troubadour but not a good manager…anyone surprised? Someone mentions the HP iPod and though it has little to nothing to do with coffee, they have to go with something…any word that will get peoples’ attention when Danny sings it to them. iPod rhymes with mod, fraud, maude, broad…we have a winner! Glad they didn’t pick the theme of “orange”.
Michael says “people with money don’t walk, they drive” and so it is here that we see that Michael, despite his credentials, has no understanding of the concept of a target market segment. Like the guys in the big limos are chugging down that Nescafe.
Net Worth cranks at their little political rally and now I see a cohesive idea. Taster’s CHOICE…get it? Cute. And it sounds like they actually made the product more appealing by serving it cold. I would have called this elegant execution if Chris wasn’t yelling and then asking why nobody wanted his coffee. Oh, plus you are not allowed to use the word “elegant” in reference to anything that involves a coffee cup costume…one of those weird NY street laws.
We get to the board room and the Nescafe folks have to make up some nice stuff to say about Magna. Otherwise, there would be no suspense leading up to Net Worth’s win. This is called the producers dumbing down to their audience and I wish they would stop. Networth gets a cool helicopter ride. Magna gets the board room.
The team tries to get Trump to overturn Michael’s exempt status but we all know it’s futile. Danny brings him into the board room anyway. Not a smart move but it won’t matter because as much as they try to make us think it won’t, we all know what will happen (I’m not letting those producers fool me anymore). Stephanie shouldn’t have been there. Michael forgot that there were cameras filming and wonders why he won’t end up as Trump’s new Apprentice. Danny gets the boot, which leaves a nice imprint on his polyester pants.
At the end of the day, a bad teammate is bad, but a bad leader is deadly. Next week’s episode is sponsored by the Target on Michael’s back. OK, not really, but I see Danny Deutsch and someone is going to do something “offensive”. You know how bad it is for them to call it “offensive” after last year’s advertising challenge and also after all the “offensive” stuff that has happened already this year? The show might have to move over to Sirius radio. Whee!