Microsoft stops the aging process


On my way in to work this morning, I passed a public bus with one of those big advertisements on the side. You know, the kind that, if you were to really read all of it, would cause you to surely endanger those around you. Well in the interest of safety, I just glimpsed quickly at the sign. And imagine my surprise when I realized, as the bright yellow sign said, that the very jeans I was wearing represent the rock and roll lifestyle! Yeah, I went to End Fest…what can I say…I’m all about the rock and roll. OK, seriously…I cannot remember the last time I felt “rock and roll” (I’m not 100% sure I know what that means anyway).

I thought back to when I worked in Chicago and put on my preppy loafers, flat-front khakis and top every day, slung my laptop over my shoulder and hopped on the stinky blue line. Wasn’t I smartly dressed and professional? And not a hint of rock and roll. Frankly, back then, all I felt was my age (and I was hardly even 30!). And I felt a little bit like I was playing a part. Cool loft apartment, job in Chicago high-rise, “vintage” BMW.

So here I am today sitting in my office blogging (yeah, check me out! check me out!) wearing rock and roll pants. What do you think about that? I’m starting to think that Microsoft has something to do with it. I’ve come up with a few quick facts that I think may prove that Microsoft has stopped the aging process:

1) No *official* dress code. If you want to wear rock and roll jeans that are sold in the juniors department and you haven’t technically been a junior in almost two decades, don’t worry about it. Concert t-shirts, shorts, tie-dye, whatever! (Me, I just stick with the jeans…).

2) The relatively humid Washington environment and lack of scorching sunlight…both very good for the skin.

3) The Pacific Northwest is home to lots of wineries. Red wine contains anti-oxidants or something that is good for your skin. Drink it, don’t wear it.

4) Lots of grocery stores that sell organic stuff, soy stuff, natural stuff. I’ve learned that I actually like tofu and that soy coffee creamer is yummy. Lots of access to *real* food too. All very good for you.

5) Flexible work hours. Feel free to get that extra beauty sleep sometimes. Just come to work when you are ready.

6) Lots of new college grads working here that are willing to “guess your age” and insist that they think you are in your 20s. Aren’t they sweet!

I can’t wait to tell all my friends in Chicago how cool I’ve become. Dude, I am so rock and roll!

 

Comments (8)

  1. Pradeep says:

    …. and I thought you were going to add access to an Xbox and real-time GamingZone plasma-screen environment with sorround sound in one’s office to the list 😉

    do the guys down at the GameStudios really do that – or is that – as they call it – Urban Legend?

  2. some_random_fte says:

    Also, Eurest makes the cafeteria food from the finest, freshest, organic ingredients – which ensures that the employees eat the healthiest foods!

  3. Heather says:

    Pradeep-I’m sure the XBox teams have XBoxes made available to them because that is their product). The rest of us have to buy them just like everyone else (at regular retail price, but we get games at a doscount).

    I’m not sure what happens at the game studios…it would not surprise me at all if they had pretty sophisticated set ups.

    "Random"…good point. We do have great food…although the portions tend to be kind of big, if you ask me. I often buy lunch and eat it for 2 days.

  4. Pradeep says:

    … actually I read some blogs somewhere arnd – about ppl talking abt Project screens and 5x sorround speakers…. to test games 🙂

  5. Abhi says:

    but I do know that even the non games divisions organize competitions for games like Age of Mythology. This sort of thing is fairly popular at Microsoft. I know a fair number of people at Microsoft and no one ever complains about anything or thinks about looking for a change…. I suspect that you guys are brainwashing them somehow 😉

  6. Pradeep says:

    Aaaah! Age of Mythology!!!

    One of my favourite RPGs.

    Brilliant history coverage – though I was surprised how Achilles was not part of the troy story in that but there was Odysseus, Ajax, Arkantos and agamemnon.

  7. Heather, watch out for the soya products. Health maniac Doctor Mercola (see his site) claims that they raise the level of female hormones and will turn you into a sissy – or something like that. According to him, the only good soya is tempeh, the fermented soycake that you buy in the frozen section of the health food store. Mike likes it but it is fairly expensive. So, you’re over thirty, eh? Have you ever seen Wild In The Streets?

  8. Heather says:

    Michael-did you just refer to yourself in the third person? For real? I may be telling you something you don’t know, but I am female…so I’m not really worried about being considered a "sissy". Not so much interested in fermented soy cake though…sorry.

    yes, over 30. No, never seen (or didn’t ever see) Wild in the Streets.