Who needs these newfangled blobs?

When I was a kid, I went to school in a one-room schoolhouse heated by a wood stove and had to walk 5 miles through the snow to get there.  If you didn't know an answer, the teacher (they called him the master) hit you with a birch rod.  And all our CS assignments had to be written in COBOL.  But now young people think they're sooo cool, they don't write letters -- nooo, it's e-mail -- and they don't write compositions -- nooo, it's blobs.  What are these blobs anyway?  When I was coming up, a blob was some kind of gelatinous mass we used to fish out of the pond when the sunnies weren't biting.  Now they're saying ...  What?  Never mind ...

Baby Script