Get Office 2007 Ultimate for $59.95 from http://theultimatesteal.com. This offer is available either by download or by delivery of a packaged product to any College student in the US with a verifiable university email address. The Office 2007 Ultimate edition includes Word, Excel, Power Point, Outlook, Access, Publisher, OneNote, Groove and InfoPath.
Once you get Office 2007, write a short humorous story about it on your blog, and have the blog entered into a competition for prizes such as a Scholarship, Vespa or Xbox 360. See competition rules and other details at http://theultimatesteal.com