Quotable Quotations, Part Three

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I'm heads-down today trying to figure out a complicated new feature in Whidbey -- working out the differences between the spec and the code is proving to be quite a challenge! -- so today, another entry in my series on the wit and wisdom of the Visual Studio team:

Movie allusions

"This is established 'Alien vs. Predator' folklore."

"I cannot be stopped by mere bullets!"

"Neo could kick Yoda's ass!"

(Please discuss the latter.)

Baby talk

There have been a spate of reproductive successes on my team recently. Here's what happens when three developers try to coo over a newborn baby:

Developer #1: "Wow, she's like a really tiny human!"
Developer #2: "That's because she is a really tiny human."
Developer #3, aka “dad“: "Yes, she's the human equivalent of a 30% scaled in-place view control."

Not pretty. (The developers, that is -- the baby was cute.)

Why devs really do need PMs around to keep them in line

Dev #1: "If we pick one of the two interfaces at random, we're going to get it wrong 50% of the time. Customers aren't going to be happy about that."
Dev #2: "You're a real 'glass half empty' guy, aren't you? Think of all the millions of times we'll get it right!"

Dev: "Checkin suites are just another hurdle on the road to checking in broken code."

More on the Program Management / Development relationship

PM to Dev: "It is so unpleasant being me using this product. Jack, we have a date with a spreadsheet."

A PM on the necessity of cutting features vs. slipping schedules: "I have a hacksaw in my office for a reason."

(It's true -- he does have a hacksaw in his office. Weird.)

PM: "We need to get this fixed. I'm going to take this to [name of Microsoft Distinguished Engineer here]."
Dev: "Yeah! Do it! Get on his schedule! Call in all your favours!"
PM: "I already did. Do you have time to come to the meeting next week?"
Dev: "Whoa -- I don't want to get involved!"

And finally, my personal favourite for this month:

PM: "It's easy to be smart. It's being right that's hard."
Dev: "No, it's easy to be smart and right. It's convincing PMs that you're right that's hard."