Can you fix my computer?

Joe Bork comments on things people ask when they find out you work for Microsoft. Me, I get the same three over and over.

1) Are you a millionaire? (This one crops up less often since the dot com bust.)
2) Do you know Bill Gates?
3) Can you fix my computer?

For the record, the answers are

(1) not yet, and based on how much that kitchen remodel cost, not likely for some time,
(2) I've spoken to Bill once, in 1994, as an intern, at a party. I asked him what he thought about Linux, which was less of a big deal back then. I'll avoid getting slashdotted by not passing along his comments at this time.
(3) very, very unlikely. I live with a bunch of people with MCE certs for a reason. I'm hopeless at anything other than language design.