As you get on in years, you feel the need to pass on your accumulated wisdom to the younger generation, which they will promptly ignore until they’re as old as you are, at which point they’ll admit that you were right all along and their lives would have been *so* much better if only they’d listened rather than listening to that crappy music of theirs (why oh why can’t they have any taste in music?)
So, at the risk of repeating the Miss Manners incident, I hereby present the following list, in no particular order:
Eric’s Tips for a Happy Marriage
- Check for religious compatibility. This may not seem like a big deal, and many couples are able to be happy despite differences, but if children show up one day, it can be a big source of friction.
- Recreate together. No, you don’t have to do everything together – in fact, you *shouldn’t* do everything together – but spending time having fun is a great way to stay connected. If it’s something exercise-related, all the better.
- Kids. It’s helpful to have some agreement about the number, timing, and species of any offspring.
- Don’t get married too early.
- A sense of humor, for both you and your wife.
- Taste in furniture. I have a friend who has a wife who likes the country cottage style, and he is destined to sleep in a room with a 4 poster bed, lacy pastel canopy, numerous stuffed animals, and a slightly illegal number of pillows.
- Would it kill you to learn how to cook something? Not only is this a nice way to share the tasks, depending on your choice of wife, it may turn out to be an important survival mechanism
- Random Acts of Giftitude
- *Both* toilet seats go down.
Why should you listen to me? 7300 days, baby!