Ahh, the trials and tribulations of the great unwashed!
So I’m off to a customer meeting today in the city. I happened to ride my new pushy into work today (ha ha, shiny!), and given that it is also quite hot being summer and all, I decided to stick to a nice pair of blue shorts (not stubbies or anything offensive like that) and my trusty MSDN polo shirt (well OK, so there isn’t any man and/or horse, and not I don’t wear the collar up, but I think it looks quite stylish, mm, yes, yes) as my November livery!
Anyway, so I rock up to reception where there are a couple of people waiting, and get in line to request my appointment. So the conversation goes like this:
Guy in Front Of Dave (GIFOD): Hi there.
Receptionist (R): Good afternoon, how may I help you?
GIFOD: I’m here to see Barney the Dinosaur (names changed to protect the innocent)
R: And may I ask who’s calling?
GIFOD: Ah yes, God (names changed to protect the innocent)
R: (Into headset) Hi Barney, I have Mr. God here in reception.
R: Thank you, please take a seat.
Dave: How you going?
R: Can I help you?
Dave: Uh, yeah, I’m here to see Boogaloo Shrimp.
R: Do you have an appointment?
** Quick break in transmission **
Wtf!? No, I decided to wander in off the street and randomly ask for a name, hoping they worked here!? At this point I’m wandering, why am I receiving such a poor reception, and then it occurs to me, I am not wearing a suit! GIFOD is in his best Zegna, but because I clearly appear to look like I just rolled off the halfpipe, I’m getting the loading dock treatment! So I think, do I get nasty, and retort with a snide remark, or do I take the high ground (like Franky always asks me to do, and clearly what Australian Princess requires) and go ducks back?
Dave: I do.
R: Hi Boogaloo, there’s someone in reception asking for you.
** Another Quick Break **
“There’s ‘someone’ in reception asking for you”… oh now she is well and truly asking for it, and again I consider going off the chain, but choose a more appropriate course.
Dave: Ah, my name is David Lemphers, I’m from Microsoft (while tilting my head to the side and doing my best Paris Hilton “ohh, like, don’t you know who I am!”).
R: He’ll be down soon, you can wait over there.
I can wait ‘over there’ can I? So now I’m really wanting to take this woman to task. I’m thinking, so imagine I’m like some billion dollar customer, who’s just stepped off his 50 km yacht which I’ve parked on the Yarra, and have come to see my advisors on how to buy Eddie McGuire’s forehead (to maximise my tax off course)! And this receptionist treats me like a fugazi! I’m liable to drop the F bomb, physically intimidate some of the other customer waiting in reception with my 48K solid gold hair piece, then tell the company to hide my account where the sun don’t shine! Instead, I kind of hide behind the palm tree next to one of those annoying motivational posters while waiting for my appointment (but feeling very very angry in the mean time!)
It didn’t get any better by the way, on my way back, I stopped to get a coffee and got short armed because, you guessed it, there be no coffee for you if you no wear Haute couture! Makes you just want to destroy something beautiful!
So if you wear a suit, please be kind to those who don’t… we’re just people too you know!