What's your "dream" business card?

Nige (tardy blogger he is, claims to not have “enough” time…) and I were having a larf around how we would introduce ourselves at a party where no one knew who you really were. You know those functions (mainly work related), where everyone is trying to out do the others with their highly important job role, and you think to yourself, “Hmm, you think your bad sucker…” then walk up and extend your business card which reads…

What would yours be?