Power of words

There is an old saying that the pen is mightier than the sword. The power of words, that is what words you use are very important when you want to teach or just get other interested in your ideas. An example of this is how Dan North came up with BDD. Another example is how agile principles talk about (continuous) improvement rather than change. Because change can be both good and bad. Improvements however are always good. An example from outside software development is how a Swedish dish called Lungmos (literally mushed lungs) was renamed to Pölsa (which does not really mean anything) in hopes of getting increased sales (guess it failed due to the taste). Actually I don't know if the name change was because they wanted to increase sales but it makes a better story that way...

Another common example is the use of "but" vs "and" in a discussion. A fun game I learned in my Scrum training was having two people plan a party by each saying a sentence or two. The twist is that in one case one person must always start their sentence with "yes but" and then you try the same thing but always respond with "yes and". An example:

- We need a nice place for the party.
- Yes, but we also need drinks.
- Should we also have food?
- Yes, but we must also have vegetarian options.

- We need a nice place for the party.
- Yes, and we also need drinks.
- Should we also have food?
- Yes, and we must also have vegetarian options.

Which one of the two alternatives sounds more productive for both parties? In the first case it sounds like having drinks and vegetarian food is a problem that must be solved. In the latter case drinks and vegetarian food is not so much a problem but rather a way to add details to the planning. These are just a few examples of how the words you choose when you communicate with your colleagues, customers, friends and family may influence how your message is received. So choose your words wisely...