I hate cancer

I’m not sure how useful it is to hate a genetic flaw – but I found out
recently that my mom has cancer.  Earlier this year I found out that my
cousin Ben
does too.   It really leaves me breathless, and asking myself
those kind of silly “why” questions that I thought I got out of my system
in my 20’s.

You can follow the link above to learn more about Ben – suffice to say that
he is 32 years old and the absolute last person I’d expect to have any kind
of health problem.  (Except perhaps a failing liver; he’s been known to
down a drink or two over the years.)

We are still figuring out, via a variety of scans and tests, exactly how bad my mom’s
cancer is; apparently the doctors are calling it a “stage 3-B”, which
sounds pretty bad considering the scale goes from 1 to 4.  She seems healthy
to me (I just spent a week with the family in Harpers Ferry, WV), a little thin, but
still full of love and life.  Honestly, I’m not quite sure how to deal
with these facts – which brings me back to hating cancer, I suppose.

Anyway, I’m planning to visit again in October, and we’ll see how things
go between now and then.  (I suppose I should let my boss know about these new
vacation plans…)  At least I don’t have to worry about her support
system; my mom has more close family and friends than you can shake a stick at, and
I hope and expect to see them visiting her over the coming months.  A friend
of mine mentioned that this will be tough on my dad too – so if you read this,
dad, you can call me any time.

Damn you, cancer!

Comments (8)

  1. Dad says:

    I read it. Thanks for your love, support and thoughtful comments.

  2. MartinJ says:

    I don’t know how many other people out there have had to deal with the big C in their lives. I’ve lost a few relatives to it in the last few years. The only thing I can offer is that the love will stay with you.

    My feelings go out to you.

  3. Bruce says:

    The more I think about it, the more I want to just do the right thing for my mom and Ben. Sure, I’m angry, sad, frightened – pick a page from my emotional playbook, and I’ve been there. But whatever I’m feeling, I’m sure its a hundred times worse to actually have the disease. So I’ll pick up the phone, make a trip, and do everything I can to support my loved ones.

  4. cass says:

    I am terminally ill, happy, laughing and have produced a web site which is an idiot’s guide to accepting, living with, laughing at and even dying from cancer or other serious illness. The very, very last bit I can’t be absolutely sure of but then who can? I could have put together some beautifully crafted, grammatically correct essays but I hope you will understand, that when I say "I don’t have a lot of time" I mean it far more literally than you do. I wanted to publish some thoughts which may just light a spark in some people and help them or their families to deal with their situation. I am receiving overwhelming support from the general public MPs, doctors nurses etc.

    It just may change your view of things.

    I am not selling anything and I am not supporting a cause, religion or other group. As you will see from the site, it seems that some people’s lives have been changed for the better merely by looking at this different approach.


    Cass Brown


  5. Ian Clarke says:

    I hate cancer