(my) it was nice knowing you


I knew this day would eventually come. I’ve worked hard for years, but, I was always hopeful that I had a rich uncle or a rich aunt or a rich someone who would just give me some money for free so that I could be happy. That never happened. I just had to wait till someone I didn’t know, but shared my same last name, would, unfortunately die. Here’s a letter I received in the mail the other day :

PIC-0323

Mark’s first question to me was if I knew KP Iyer. I told him I’d heard the name, and when he asked me how, I told him it was when I’d read Mark’s letter for the first time. I also told him I knew of an ‘AS Iyer’ (which would be me, roughly), and he said that was evidence enough. Mark also informs me that I’m the only other Iyer on the planet who is capable of receiving $4.65mils right now. Which makes perfect sense to me and I am not going to question it. He also said that he was impressed with how clever I was.

I went on to inform Mark that I’m very likely next to kin for any other family-less Iyers who may unfortunately pass in the future, and they don’t have to spend 8 years hunting for someone. Sorry, hunting for me. He was impressed with my determination to do the right thing. There was an amazing amount of trust all around.

Quick update : Mark has asked me to wire him $100K because that is what it is going to cost him to wire me the $4.65mils, and I told him I didn’t have that kind of money. I asked him to deduct it from the $4.65mils he owes me. I haven’t heard back, yet.
Quick update 2 : I’ve already bought a 911.

I’m rich, people. It was nice knowing you.

ai

PS: I can’t believe they use physical mailing addresses now. Hmph.
PPS: Just in case you are wondering, NO, this is *not* legit. I hope this post jumps to the top of search results now done on teh “internets” for “Mark Alfonso”, “Focus Financial Management” and “scam”. This is a scam, people. I know $4.6mils sounds like a lot of money,  but don’t do it.
PPPS: My apologies to the “real Mark Alfonso”(s).

Comments (4)

  1. Kevin Daly says:

    I think it’s outrageous these unoriginal criminals walking all over the intellectual property rights of those hard-working scammers in Nigeria…

    And they left out all the important bits like ex-generals’ widows who’ll be eternally grateful to you and so on and so forth…no respect for the classics.

    One of the BAs where I work is another Mr Iyer (I’d better not divulge his first name for privacy reasons)…I wonder if "Mark Alfonso" would like to talk to him too? :-)

  2. Normally, I’d envy you since your parents chose the Tamil Brahmin caste name for your last name so you don’t have a ridiculously long and hard to pronounce last name like mine.

    But not today :)

  3. glengordon says:

    I read "I’ve already bought a 911" and thought that was a new slang for calling 911 as in alerting the authorities of this scam…