I’ve received several several bizarre calls since I first put my phone number up on my blog. I’ve received death threats. I’ve had a disconcerted teenager call me from Malaysia about her boyfriend. But I think we have a winner, ladies and gentlemen :
(I received this call at approximately 10.45pm)
Lady : Hello, yes, this is a call from a relay service. Do you know what a relay service is?
Me : Uhh, hello. Yeah, I’m not sure.
Lady : Ok, hang on one second sir. (starts clicking away on her computer) sir, Internet Relay Service is an online way to place text relay calls. It works over the Internet so that relay calls are possible without a TTY. Instead, relay users connect to a communications assistant through the internet relay website, and communicate by typing outgoing messages on their computer keyboards and reading incoming messages on their computer monitors.
Me : Uhhhh, ok.
Lady : I will now precede every comment from me, the operator, with “Operator says”. I will precede every comment from user with “User says”.
Me : Uhhh, ok.
Lady : Operator says, I will now proceed.
Lady : User says, “Hello Anand, whats going on?”
Me : Nothing much.
Lady : User says, “If I have a soft 17, and the dealer’s showing a 6, should I double down?”
Me : Ok, I’m not really sure what’s going on right now…
Lady : Operator says, “Sir, the user is asking you a question. You should answer it”
Me : No, seriously, I really don’t understand whats happening right now. Is someone seriously using an internet relay service to ask me if they should double-down on a soft 17? Seriously?
Lady : Operator says, “hang on sir, I’m asking the user that question”.
Me : No, no, don’t ask them that.
Lady : Operator says, “sorry sir, I’ve already sent them that message. Please wait, the user is responding”.
Me : (after a 10 second pause…) *click*