(this is a personal, non-work related post)
It was a typical Saturday night. I was out with one of my best friends who I hadn’t met up with in a while. We decided to hit up one of our favorite spots. The place was crowded, the music was ‘hyphy’, and things were looking up.
We moved on out to the patio area of this bar after a little bit. And a few moments later, two absolutely drop-dead gorgeous women, also entered the patio area. Our eyes met, and they walked directly toward us. That almost never happens (it never happens). They come by and hang out right next to us. At this point, my friend and I are pretty dumbfounded.
One of the girls, turns to me, walks directly towards me, and starts up a conversation.
Girl : Hey
Me : What?
Girl : Hello, hows it going?
Me: What? Me?
Girl (starting to get a little flustered) : So, my friend and I have been wondering, whats this thing you’ve got around your neck?
Me: Oh, thats a dog tag. Its nothing really. My friend gave it to me. He bought it from Guess. It was 13.95 before taxes, and about 15.11 all in all. Yeah. It this whole fraternity, camaraderie thing.
Girl : Oh ok…
(awkward 20 second silence)
Girl : Ok then, buh-bye
I did mention they were drop-dead gorgeous right? And amazingly drop-dead gorgeous, at that?
Its been about 16 hours since the incident, and I haven’t been able to shake what happened there. I’m shell shocked. My friend stopped short of kicking me in the genitals (he later claimed that he didn’t kick me in the genitals because he felt it wouldn’t really hurt me). He also made a very intersting observation in that, it was VERY unlikely that the girls didn’t know, that what I had around my neck was a dog tag. Or that it cost money.
I met some other friends of mine who were at the place as well, and we’ve been collectively thinking of all the bazillion things I could’ve said that would’ve made the conversation worthwhile :
Girl : So, my friend and I have been wondering, whats this thing you’re wearing around your neck?
Me : Its a chic magnet.
Me : I got it from a buddy who’s in the army, after him and I single handedly fought 63 rebels, and eventually took back control of the oil field.
Me : If you look real close, its got your name written on it.
Me : I got it from some friends at the SFFD, for saving a child from a burning building.
Me : I’ve sprayed my cologne on it, you should smell it.
Me : I found it when I was hiking through the rugged jungle area in the amazon.
Me : If you look at it closely, you’ll see a reflection of your beautiful self.
Me : This thing saved my life – I got shot at, and the dog tag stopped the bullet from piercing through in to my body.
So, I feel like a dumb ass. All my friends have been consoling me about the situation. I’m getting a lot of “you’ll meet them again”, “there’s always next time”, and, “next time bring your brain with you”. But its not condescending enough. I deserve to be punished.
So, please, take some time, and tell me how big a dumb-ass that you know I am. Please.
Me thanks you…
Currently playing in my head : “Boom shack-a-lak”, Apache Indian, soundtrack of the movie “Dumb and Dumber”