One Big Conspiracy

According to Charlie Brooker, it’s all one big attention conspiracy:

“Install this driver. Now update it. Now update it again. Register to
login to our website. Then validate your membership. Forgot your
password? Click here. Now there. Fill out this form. And this one. And
this one. Please wait while TimeJettison Pro examines your system.
Download latest patch file. Please wait while patch file examines own
navel. Remove cable. Insert cable. Gently tease USB port with cable.
Yeah, that’s it baby. That’s the way. Now show us your bum or I’m
deleting your inbox.”